Dear RTF reader,

September was a good month. I know it was. I wanted to bring you an uplifting report from newlywed land combined with some epic story of fighting against all odds to triumph victoriously at the foot of the cross, like I’m sure other married couples have relayed. Still wrestling with tangled balls of thought and snippets of memory at 6:00 this morning, staring at a wall we never hung pictures on - blank white walls irritate both of us - I waited to remember that one time when we were amazing.

Thirty minutes into my wrestling, a mostly asleep husband reached around and pulled me closer to his chest. His breath was warm against the back of my neck and the weight of his arm resting on mine broke into my thoughts.

Why does it have to be epic (my new favorite word)?

Because it is more engaging, of course! Do you not remember Lord of the Rings?

What about honest, humble and possibly even a bit vulnerable?

But what if no one can relate to that!?! Hmmm…Um, never mind.

It’s true. These first several months of marriage, while full of transition, have not necessarily consisted of giant strides toward holiness, but something resembling tiny lessons in humility, and a continual stream of evidences of God’s grace - not unlike the ways Christ taught us in singleness. I am grateful to relay that Christ is still actively working in our lives and marriage, despite my delusions of greatness and odd conversations with myself.

September’s evidences of grace:

• Perry shares what he’s been learning from Harold Best’s “Unceasing Worship” and takes the following 30 minutes to discuss it with me when I don’t understand.

“Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude…” 1 Cor 13:4

• We fight heated, but on one occasion, resist bringing out past faults and are able to come to a resolution, though we still do not agree.

“In your anger, do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your heart and be silent.” Psalm 4:4

• He urges me to spend the afternoon with a hurting friend, rather than demanding my time and attention.

• He initiates a run in the morning before work one morning, because he knows it starts my day off well and we both desire to be healthy for ourselves and each other.

“My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.” Song of Solomon 5:10

• I leave my hair straightener on the bathroom sink for the sixth time in a row, and instead of getting frustrated, he gives me time to remember and put it away.

“…[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…” 1 Cor 13:4

• We change Mars Hill campuses and watch as Christ connects us to new ministry and new friendships.

• We recognize exhaustion in each other’s eyes after a long day at work, and instead of forcing the other to meet needs or be productive, we both extend grace and go to bed early. The laundry can wait. (this was yesterday)

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Eph 5:33

• He calls me out on selfishness, and gently leads me back to repentance.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Eph 5:25-28

Yes, September was a very good month.

Six women in my community group have begun meeting regularly to discuss the book Women of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Women in Scripture, by Ann Spangler and Jean E. Syswerda. The devotional offers an insightful journey into the lives of 52 women of the Bible, and provides cultural and historical context for the Scriptures concerning each of them. A central aspect of the study is the extensive Scripture references included  - attempting to launch into reading about the lives of these women without open Bible in hand would steal from the depth and beauty of this book.

Reading and contemplating what these feminine characters’ lives might have been like, for me, has begun to spark new interest and appreciation for them and for Jesus’ faithfulness, clearly evident in their lives. I would recommend this resource to any woman looking for a closer look into Biblical characters, specifically feminine characters, and God’s story through their lives.

I would not recommend this book to women looking for a deep, intensive study of Scripture. Those looking for Greek and Hebrew cross references will probably be disappointed. However, the storytelling tone of the book has been ideal, as I have begun reading it at 6:00 each weekday morning, curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee and enjoying a short time in the Word before my hubby wakes up. The short daily study, combined with a good dose of Scripture, has been starting my day out with a fresh perspective.

 A long time ago, the Reforming the Feminine team wrote a series of “How To” articles in which the reader learned a variety of skills, including how to write a sensational blog, how to tell if you are a burnt out community group hostess, and how to love your daughter’s sugar-skull tattoo, to name a modest few.

If any of you missed that collection, they are worth checking out. Shelly’s tattoo article was a personal favorite. So in a nostalgic throw back to September 2007, here is another for the grab bag of useful talents.

When my husband and I first started dating in 2002, a friend suggested I start a journal as a creative way to capture the budding romance and early memories of our relationship. I filled four pages with emotional adjectives and discontinued the venture. Four years later, we’re married and another budding relationship needs documenting.

Our mutual redeemed relationship with wine.

We both believe that Christ gave wine to enjoy and have brought it into our home in moderation. My inspiration for creating a wine journal is two-fold. This week we spent 30 minutes in the wine aisle at Trader Joe’s selecting a few bottles to add to the rack. As I browsed the shelves, I noticed several bottles we had tasted previously, but neither of us could remember if we had particularly enjoyed any of them. A wine journal would have surely dispelled these doubts. The second reason is that my deliberate process for selecting wine has nothing to do with tannins, legs, or the year it was bottled. It hinges solely on the following conditions:

a) if the word chocolate appears anywhere in the description (ie. pairs with, hints of, etc.),

b) if I have seen the vineyard myself, or

c) if it has a well-designed and attractive label.

Obviously, this is a relationship that will deepen over time.

The wine journal provides a savvy way to retain those beautiful labels and remind us which bottles we have tasted before. Several Google searches found that someone else had had the same concept - for more tips on wine journaling, check out PinotBlogger.

HOW TO MAKE A CUSTOM WINE JOURNAL

Supplies

Empty wine bottle

Hot water

Dish towel

Clear Packing Tape

Scissors

Well-made Journal (thick pages are preferable)

Clean Spoon

With all supplies assembled, place two pieces of packing tape around the label, covering it thoroughly.

Hold the dry dishtowel around the neck of the bottle, ready to catch drops of water and to protect your hands from the hot glass (Note: I learned this the hard way. Fingerprinting is no longer a valid form of identification for me.). Slowly pour the hot water into the wine bottle, filling it to the beginning of the neck and being careful not to get the label wet.

Wait 8-10 minutes to let the glue react to the hot water.

This would be an ideal time to write a description of the wine in the journal. Include details such as what you enjoyed about that particular wine, who it was enjoyed with, the price, what food it was paired with, etc.

After 10 minutes or so, carefully peel the tape from a corner, making sure that the label is coming off with the tape. Cut along the excess tape from the edges of the label and paste it into the journal. The back of the label will still be slightly sticky, but using a few of the scrapbooking squares or 3M ScotchPads on each of the corners should hold it in place.

Since this was my first wine journal, and only second time attempting this process, there is plenty of room to grow. If you find additional ways to improve this, please send them along.

Enjoy!

I have a confession.

On Friday evening, I spent several hours excitedly writing a “how to” post on how to put wine labels in a journal. I even ran several tests to ensure that my methods would work and borrowed a camera from a friend to take photographs of the process.  I have spent several hours since then fighting with Flickr to post pictures for the blog entry and make everything work. Also over the course of this time, I:

1. Snapped at my husband for trying to help me.

2. Resented my in-laws for wanting to spend time with us.

3. Neglected time with my Bible.

4. Left a frustrated voice mail with a dear friend of mine.

5. Lost sleep while staying up wrestling with the problem.

6. Believed that my reputation was harmed because I couldn’t come through for a friend and post an article when I said that it would post.

7. Yelled at my husband for rushing me out the door to spend time with the in-laws.

It’s now 12:23 pm on Saturday night. I still have not figured out where the computer and I are not communicating well, and you may never read my article on how to make a custom wine journal, but I am cutting my losses on this downward spiral of frustration. As soon as this entry posts, I am spending some serious time communicating with my hubby, who was graciously willing to help me try to solve the issue, then I am reading my Bible before bed, and sleeping. Jesus has been teaching me grace this year, as an ongoing theme. I obviously have plenty left to learn.

Thank you for yours.

A blog entry with a title that includes the word “cross-reference,” is a sure fire way to lose an audience, so for the select few that have made it this far, the picture is dedicated to you.

Background: At the Ballard campus this week, Pastor Bubba preached out of John 15, one of my favorite and most sobering passages of Scripture.

On Tuesday night as I reread the passages, my mind kept asking, “I agree with this, but what does it mean for me, in Seattle, daily?” About the third time I was asking myself how to apply it, I realized that I had never stopped to research the small superscript letters peppering the pages, or truly dig into this theme of abiding in Christ. Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and grabbed another Bible from the bookshelf across the room. With them side by side, I discovered what Bible scholars and seminary students have been geeking out on for the past 2000 years.

I am no Bible scholar by any stretch of the imagination, but I couldn’t help being fascinated as I began to see how often Christ repeats himself and reiterates this metaphor throughout Scripture. With the goal of sharing this discovery of you, I have written out the first section of verses, and found the cross-references through the ESV Bible Online, then learned HTML enough to put them here for you. It really is extraordinary what can be accomplished in a few hours while sitting at the kitchen table in pajamas.

John 15:1-11

“I am the ^rtrue vine, and my Father is ^sthe vinedresser.

^{2 t}Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit ^uhe takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, ^vthat it may bear more fruit.

³Already ^wyou are clean ^xbecause of the word that I have spoken to you.

^{4 y}Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.

⁵I am the vine; ^ayou are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that ^bbears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

⁶If anyone does not abide in me ^che is thrown away like a branch and withers; ^dand the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.

⁷If ^eyou abide in me, and my words abide in you, ^fask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

^8gBy this my Father is glorified, that you ^hbear much fruit and so prove to ^ebe my disciples.

⁹ⁱAs the Father has loved me, ^jso have I loved you. Abide in my love.

^10kIf you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as ^lI have kept ^mmy Father’s commandments and abide in his love.

¹¹These things I have spoken to you, ⁿthat my joy may be in you, and that ^oyour joy may be full.”

Now that I have had a study of Scripture/Programming for Beginners session, I think I’ll get dressed and start my day too.

His worn, baggy jeans and jacket looked dirty. By his graying hair, I judged early fifties, maybe slightly younger. He was holding a small cardboard sign that read, “God Bless you.” I wondered for a few moments what his life story was, what the events had been leading up to him taking up a post on this busy corner beneath the Ballard bridge.

I noticed the extra granola bar on my passenger seat and wondered if I should offer it to him. The light changed green and the car in front of me moved through the intersection. Any attempt to offer the bum breakfast now would not be well received by the line of traffic behind me. I moved through the intersection, and glanced at the digital clock on my car CD player. It read 10:58. I wasn’t worried. I knew of a spot I could park close to Mars Hill Church and run across the street in time to sit down before the band’s first song ended.

While waiting for a break in traffic, I glanced back down the block. He was still standing there. I could feel the granola bar staring up at me from its pocket in my bag, next to my Bible. Should I walk up the block and hand it to him? I thought. No, you shouldn’t, a girl once got raped under that bridge. It’s 11:00 in the morning, is there honestly any valid safety concern when there are dozens of people around? You’ll be late to church. It’s pretty inconvenient. Maybe he’ll still be there afterward, when I’m not in a hurry. Besides, one granola bar isn’t going to help anything. He needs more than a silly breakfast bar. Is he crisis homeless or chronic homeless or not homeless at all, and just taking advantage of people’s guilty consciences and generosity. STOP! Jesus, please teach me discernment when it comes to situations like this. 

I caught a break in traffic and walked into the sanctuary just in time to grab a seat before the band ended and Pastor Mark walked onto the stage. Mark greeted the congregation, prayed and introduced the sermon topic: Stewardship:God Gives. I found myself wishing I had taken the time to be late to church.

Throughout the next several hours, in his sovereign and gracious providence, Jesus revealed the deeper issues my heart had been struggling with and patterns of finding my security in wealth when it doesn’t even ultimately belong to me, patterns of feeling superior to the man on the corner.

Mark sums it up well in his sermon notes:

“Essential to the doctrine of stewardship is that everything ultimately belongs to God.  The great myths are that we own anything, that we deserve anything, that we can do anything good apart from God and that we are sovereign over our own lives. Nothing good that we have or do originates with us, it all comes from the hand of God as the Scriptures repeatedly and emphatically declare (Deuteronomy 8:17-18;Psalm 50:10; Haggai 2:8; James 1:16-18).”

A week later, I am still wrestling with these truths and the reality of how to walk in the fact that Christ is soveriegn and the only One solid enough for me to trust. I am not sure what I will do the next time I sense a prompting to share one of the blessings God has entrusted me with. My prayer is that I obey and give as God has given, generously.

Dearest Adriel,

It’s so good to hear from you. Has it really been over a month? I remember texting you while I was waiting for Perry to check us in at the Best Western by the Salt Lake City airport. Our delayed flight from Cancun had caused us to miss our connecting flight to Seattle, and though we had raced through the airport, we arrived a few minutes after it left earth. I was feeling a little homesick.

I’m writing this to you now on Notepad. My four-year-old Dell laptop has a personal vendetta against Comcast and refuses to cooperate with our wireless internet.

Coincidently, my computer’s connectivity issues have been my token answer for those friends who I haven’t been staying in contact with as well since the wedding. This new role of wife HAS challenged the depth of my friendships, especially with my single girlfriends.

People have been asking us how we are settling into married life. I’ve varied the answers, but I think overall (more…)

Charity, strangely, has found its place in the primetime television contest show trend. Enter Oprah’s Big Give, a new reality game show. For those who may not be familiar with it, the premise is that several contestants are given an amount of money and a challenge to, “Give big or go home.” The end goal is $1,000,000 (though only viewers know this) and the title of “The Biggest Giver.”

In a rare moment of channel surfing this past Sunday, I happened to catch the most recent episode. The remaining seven contestants were each given $100,000 and told to give it away in one day. Sounds easy, but of course there was a catch. They couldn’t actually give cash away or spend more than $500 on one person, or $10,000 at one place.

Contestants’ competitive versions of charity ranged from buying computers, iPods and various electronics to donate door to door in an impoverished neighborhood to organizing impromptu shopping sprees at Target and buying $18, 000 worth of pet toys to donate to an animal shelter (Hello Seattle?).

After spending as much as they could in the time given, they returned to the resort to report on their day of donations. They were judged on their creativity, management under pressure and their stewardship of the resources given. The two who “just didn’t give big enough” were sent home.

Halfway through the episode, I caught the irony of watching it on Easter Sunday. I’ll admit I’m a sucker for analogies and parallels, and this was not about to be lost. I had already teared up during Extreme Home Makeover earlier in the evening and was feeling contemplative. As I sat in my living room, eating popcorn with chop sticks, my mind wandered to the Big Gift of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, and resurrection that we celebrate on Easter. It had been less than 10 hours since I had witnessed God moving in a beautiful and powerful way at MHC: Ballard, resulting in more than 150 spontaneous baptisms, so it was a logical connection. 

I was also intensely challenged to examine my own stewardship and giving. As usual, Oprah’s doctrine is not directly on target, but the concept isn’t too far off. Giving is completely Biblical. Though for the record, Jesus has outgiven Oprah by a lot.

2 Corinthians 9:7-9 (ESV)

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor, his righteousness endures forever.”

One of my closest friend’s husband began offering guitar lessons in January to supplement their income after the birth of their baby. A few weeks later, he received an ordinary-seeming email from a man writing that his fourteen-year-old son was coming into town and would like to take lessons. Because of this, the email read, the man would like to pre-purchase $720 worth of lessons.

My friend’s husband was thrilled at the inquiry and began working out the logistics. Another email followed shortly after, this one explaining that Email Man would not just be sending a $720 check for the lessons, he would include an extra $2380 as spending money for his traveling son. He instructed the husband to withdraw the fee for the lessons, plus an extra $100 for his trouble, then wire the remaining majority of the money to the stranger’s son’s driver’s account.

At this turn of events, my friend and her husband immediately were suspicious and contacted their bank to ask advice. The bank offered to research the check for fraud and advised my friends not to accept it. Why the suspicion? Because no one in their right mind with good intentions would trust a complete stranger with that much money without some legitimate proof that the person is trustworthy. It would be absolutely absurd and foolish!

As my friend relayed the updates of this story over the phone earlier this week, it reminded me of a profound point that John Piper had made in his message last Monday night during the Text in Context conference.

“God is not honored by our blind leaps into the dark,” he had stated. It is valuable to study, question and practice discernment with what we hear and believe. As we learn God’s character and allow Him to deepen our understanding through study and relationship with Him, He is honored and our faith is increased.

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

As a young person who has grown up in the church and in a Christian home, sorting through what I believe because I have sought the answer and seen it proven and what I believe because an authoritative figure relayed it is a life-long challenge.

If you had asked me a month ago if I owned my faith, I would have given a positive answer, probably with a defensive edge to it. But today, I wouldn’t give the same answer. I still feel the need to shake Jesus’ hand and introduce myself, as He reminds me daily that he’s a much bigger deal than I give Him credit for. I would admit that I am just now coming face to face with how much I don’t know, and am in the beginning stages of truly knowing Jesus and learning to love and be loved by Him.

Six weeks ago, my best friend of three years asked me to marry him. I burst into tears, then said yes. A tad predictable, I know. The unpredictable part came after the initial “we’re engaged!”

I feel like no one was ever honest with me about the emotional and mental transition from simple girlfriend to fiancée. With that ring came every emotion I knew existed, rushing through my head like a flash flood on steroids. Six seconds has been my average attention span since then and my memory is only slightly longer. Every ounce of creativity in my brain has gone into thinking of getting married, but life hasn’t stopped to let me scheme. I still have to keep up with three part-time jobs and more than a few extra time commitments that filled my life before I was a fiancee.

On a whole different level of overwhelming, very soon, my unsuspecting fiancé will be my well-acquainted husband and I will be his partner, his support, his best friend, his wife and all the responsibilities that go with that beautiful, but daunting, role will be mine.

I’ve been cycling through dozens of new thoughts and emotions for the past six weeks and I have never been so sure of my own weaknesses in my entire life. So why am I still wearing his ring, in light of my obvious insufficiency? With this ring also came a breathtaking new glimpse of God’s grace in the full-on revelation of how I desperately need it. In last week’s message, Pastor Mark mentioned that Jesus often waits to give us His provision until the moment we need it, in the exact amount we need. I couldn’t agree more.

I had the hardest time finding a wedding dress in the first weeks of our engagement. I tried on dozens and had more than one bridal sales consultant assume the wedding was April 2009, then looked shocked when corrected. At the end of a long search, I found out that the designer “just happened” to have the exact dress I wanted in the perfect color in my size, in stock.

Then we found dresses that flattered each of my three bridesmaids, but Jessica McClintock in Seattle didn’t have any in Olivine green in the right sizes and the sales clerk’s computers were showing that none of the stores in the nation did. But one day and several persistent phone calls later, the Portland store “just happened” to have them and shipped them directly to our door.

Time after time, I have been reminded that God knows and cares for us more than I know. Even as I type it, I know it sounds cliché, but as I prepare to marry the man I love, knowing that Jesus’ blessing is on it, that He would even go so far as to give me grace and provide in the smallest details of planning the wedding, I am humbled and in awe of our God. And when my creativity and sanity wanes, His takes over and exceeds all expectations.