“Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four…” I slowly counted in my mind the number of little drops of sweat running down my back. 106 degrees in the shade is pretty warm, even sitting under a beautiful Neem tree. It was the last day of my recent trip to India and I was taking a break and talking with Jaipaul, the missionary who graciously hosted me for the first few weeks of July during my stay in a little Indian village. Between swatting mosquitos and flies and counting drops of sweat (and the minutes until I was going to fly away in an air conditioned plane) I was only half paying attention as we talked about the Widow’s program, orphanage, and life in Seattle. (If you aren’t familiar with my trip, there are a couple blogs that will tell you more about it on reforming the feminine and my personal trip blog.)

Suddenly Jaipaul got a little more serious in his discussion about Jesus and Cross-centered living. He reached over for my journal and pen. Quietly he wrote one sentence.

It really got my attention. Each time I look at it, it still resonates really deeply in my soul … more deeply than I really think I’m aware of. “Abandon anything that is not giving any Joy of the Lord or giving you energy”

Wow. Of course I know there are lots of little things, hindrances, habits, whatever, that aren’t always the best choice, but I think I like to excuse the “little things” with the concept of grace far too often. I thought about this sentence and realized just how many little and big things that I could abandon in exchange for peace and joy, but instead I sit here and choose all these little things that rob me of Joy!

Processing all the things that I saw and heard on my trip is taking a while, but as I was reading my journal and saw that I realized this is a truth that I will be letting sink in deeper into my soul probably the rest of my life. I can’t encourage you to do this because I have done it 100% and am on the other side and can say “Hey it’s GREAT over here, come on over!” Nope. I definitely am sitting on the same side as you are, looking at all the little things I don’t want to abandon and wondering if it really is more joyous over there. But I hope I can encourage you that from what I know to be true about Jesus and his Word I think there is a lot of hope and truth in this sentence and my prayer is that every day the Holy Spirit will enable me to abandon those things that are not giving me Joy and run to him and embrace the things that will give me joy and strength.

Many of you have followed the story of my scarf project that supports the House of Hope Micro Enterprise Sewing school in Chillakalu, India. If you haven’t gotten a chance to read the story, check it out on these two earlier posts. (click here for part one and here for part two) So if you have read the posts you’ll know that I’m taking a trip to India to visit the school and find out new ways to support them. The past few months have sped by and my trip is here! I leave July 3 and will return on July 17.

If you want to follow my trip, see photos, and read funny stories (guaranteed there will be a few about aggressive monkeys and crazy drivers!) you’re welcome to follow along on my personal trip blog. I appreciate so much all the positive and warm support I have received from my Mars Hill family through responses to posts and personal emails and I’m excited to share about my trip with you all when I return.

Also, I have recently received many more scarves that readers have asked about in the past. So if you are interested in a pashmina scarf please respond to this post and I’ll be sure to contact you when I return. I have dozens and dozens and they are really beautiful!

Thank you all again and stay tuned…!

-Cambria

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 

As I was meditating on Galatians 5:22-23, commonly known as the “Fruit of the Spirit” the phrase self-control struck me in a new way since I had just listened to the recent sermon on Idolatry. I realized how much I allow other’s opinions and judgment, both real and perceived, to control my words and actions. I tend to idolize doing the right thing for everyone and making everyone happy, to an unhealthy extent so that I often don’t realize what it is the Jesus wants me to do. And I realized that the phrase “self-control” means for me that I’m not “others-controlled.” So this week I’m going to meditate on what it means to be controlled by the Holy Spirit who dwells in myself rather than externally controlled by other’s opinions and wanting to receive praise and favor from people rather than confidence that I’m living in and acting in God’s Word and his desire for me.

On Friday night I realized I have a lot of junk. I went to find something in the garage early in the evening and found myself five hours later surrounded by all the stuff that I’ve accumulated and stuck in the garage. A garbage can, recycling bin, and entire car-load-to-the-brim-to-Goodwill later I am feeling about 100 pounds lighter and convicted about all the extra stuff that is so easy to collect!

I can be extra sensitive to “too much stuff”, in part because of my job. I work with different clients as a personal assistant and continually find myself helping to clean-out, organize, and relocate other people’s junk. The more stuff I sell for people on eBay and Craigslist, or organize in plastic containers in storage units, or simply beg my friends to take off my hands for free, not only do I realize just how much unesscessary stuff our culture collects, but also how expensive and time-consuming it is to simply maintain or get rid of it!!

I could go on and on with examples that are both humorous and sobering, but the main question I want to pose is, Just how much stuff do you have and does it rule your life and dictate your time? Do you worship the things you have (or the things you don’t have), or do you worship Jesus? I’m not saying that having fewer things makes you more righteous or living in poverty is somehow better than gathering material possesions. I think often times people who have nothing are worshiping all the stuff they wish they had! I am saying that now more than ever its is so easy to accumulate things and have to take care of, insure, or store things. I get an overall sickening feeling when I see how much stuff I have that I don’t use or won’t use. I can thankfully say I feel like I’m well on my way to recovering from thinking that I need a lot of stuff to realizing the real cost of the things I buy and keep around.

It was really therapeutic to go through my things, face them once and for all, and realize that if I haven’t used some of them for a few months or a year, chances are I won’t miss them if I give them away. I’ll offer a few suggestions if you’d like to take a mental inventory of the stuff you have and what might be more of a drain on your time rather than adding to your life and mission:

Books
I love ‘em, I read ‘em, and recently I’ve gone back through my bookcase and started selling them on half.com. A lot of books are great to read once, but there are so many more books on my “to-read” list that I know I’ll never re-read a few of them. So far I think I’ve made about $50! Think about using the public library system more often instead of buying every new book that someone suggests…

Clothing
As a fashion design major, I could really go on and on but I won’t. Just remember that this isn’t about anyone but you. It’s not about “do I have more or less than my friend so-and-so?” but about how much do you need, wear, and use? Just be honest with yourself. I like to regularly clean out my closet and head to the consignment store with a bag. This week I went by and picked up a check for $44! More importantly, I’m really trying to be disciplined and only buy the clothes that I really love and will wear. I try to only go to a clothing store when I actually have something I need to buy, rather than going to browse to see what’s there. And unless I’m looking for something specific I never go to the clearance rack - pretty much 100% of the things I buy on clearance “because they’re a good deal” always end up going to the consignment store after being worn once or never! Another place I really avoid is the $1 section at Target. Seriously - if it’s not on my list and I don’t need it, the fact that it’s only $1 really doesn’t make it a better deal! It just means that it’s probably something cheap that I’ll end up throwing away or selling at a yard sale. I wouldn’t do that with a dollar bill and I really don’t like doing it with cheap junk imported from China…

What about clothes that are too small or you just never liked? Figure out a way to wear them starting tomorrow, or get rid of them!

Entertainment
This is different for everyone, but do you ever stop and take an inventory of the things you keep around for entertainment but never use? Music you don’t listen to, DVDs you don’t watch, etc. Time to clean them out and commit to not buying things unless they fit with your overall mission - to worship Jesus with your life and everything you have! Again, I’m not saying entertainment is bad; just that it’s really important to use moderation and not let it rule your life!

Office Supplies/Organizers/Personal Products
You know who you are! There are some of us very administrative types who love to walk through the office supply area thinking that just a few more sticky notes, paper clips, or another plastic organizer is just what we need to be organized. Nope. Use what you have, organize what you have into the containers you already have, and if you really find a need for more storage, go out and get it, but purposefully!

How about five-year-old half-used bottles of lotion, nail polish, and hair products? Clean out, clean out, clean out! And then stop buying some of everything! Decide what you like to use and need to use and stick with that.

Whew, obviously this is close to my heart, but it really saddens me to hear people say “wow I have so much stuff I really need more space.” No you don’t. You need more space when you have children, get married, start a business. You don’t need more space to hold more stuff! Remember, this is about what you are worshiping and where you time, money, and energy goes. When you buy gifts for people do you just give them stuff? Or do you give them something meaningful? One of my favorite gifts to give is a gift certificate for a massage. If I don’t give that, then I try to listen well and get something that a friend has expressed a need for. Don’t contribute to other people’s closets full of stuff!

So just in time for Spring I propose a little Spring Cleaning. As you work through the things you own ask your self “is this necessary?” And if you don’t own anything, ask yourself, “how much time do I spend thinking about all the things I want?” It’s great to use things and stuff to help you accomplish the mission set before you but remember to worship Jesus!

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it.” Proverbs 15:16

Our tummies were full and our minds were beginning to overflow from teaching and encouragement as we sat around finishing a lovely dinner at Semiahmoo on the first evening of the women’s retreat. Hundreds of women had been hearing from the excellent women’s teaching team all day and we were beginning to squirm in our seats. Despite the ample free time, the amount of information we were hearing was beginning fill our brains … And then came Amy!

Like a fresh breeze blowing through the room, Amy Knorr was the perfect after-dinner speaker for this year’s retreat. As she spoke on Ephesians 4, Amy focused on several great points including walking in Unity as believers and walking in Love. I was convicted and encouraged by Amy’s wisdom and entertained by her witty yet gentle spirit and humorous Texan accent. We laughed when she admonished us not to walk around with a “pucker on our faces” and cried with her as she described the painful experience of losing her stillborn son. Check out the insightful teaching here.

Intrigued by this new face to women’s events at Mars Hill, I emailed Amy and asked to spend an afternoon getting to know her more. I was truly refreshed to sit by Greenlake and talk with her about life in Seattle, the love and goodness of our Savior, and the all-consuming comfort of the Holy Spirit in times of pain and grief. I’m excited to tell you a little more about this dynamic woman who is now the face of “Women’s Thingys” at Mars Hill Wedgwood!

Amy lived in Houston, Texas before moving to Seattle last year with her husband. The Knorrs had already been faithful podcast listeners and were excited to visit Mars Hill while looking at graduate schools in the Northwest. When Amy’s husband chose to attend UW, they were thrilled to quickly become live attendees at the Ballard campus. Amy felt called to teaching and ministry at Wedgwood an enrolled in the Women Teaching Women class last Spring.

Amy’s passion for Jesus and the evidence of his grace in her life is abundant. She joyfully shared stories of being on the mission field in Russia and her call to return there someday. I loved hearing her heart for seeing growth among the women’s community at the Wedgwood campus through prayer and teaching events just for women. Her apparent knowledge of scripture and theology was refreshing as was her burden to help other women understand and apply Scripture in their lives.

I was also so encouraged to hear about her day-to-day life, her desire to live out her role as a wife in a way that worships Jesus and honor her husband, and the comfort she experienced through the pain of losing her first child. Amy tenderly shared the story of her stillborn son and the closeness she has felt with the Lord since then, feeling as though she understands on such a different level now the pain that God experienced sacrificing his Son for us. Her ability to see how God has used this tragedy in her life for her to share his comfort with others in similar situations really encouraged me to look at my own life and see where I can relay the comfort the Holy Spirit brings to others through prayer, listening, and understanding. The evidence of redemption in Amy’s life strongly moved me to want to understand God’s grace, plan, and call on my life in a deeper way.

If you are a woman who attends the Wedgwood campus, I strongly encourage you to step up and find out how you can be involved in the “Women’s Thingys” there and be an asset to the ministry that Amy is launching. You will be blessed to know this woman more intimately and to learn from her humble and humorous teaching! Look for upcoming women’s events in the Spring on the Wedgwood Blog.

I’m not sure if there is a correlation, but I’m experiencing random microwave popcorn cravings this afternoon … and wondering if the vaccine I had for Typhoid this morning could be related? Hmm … while I ponder that some more, let me explain what I’m talking about!

This seems to be a great month for announcements on the Reforming the Feminine blog … Candice is pregnant … Hannah is getting married … well I don’t have an announcement quite as exciting, but I do have some news and I’m happy to share it with you!

My last post was about the scarf project I’ve undertaken to raise funds to equip sewing schools in India where widows in need learn skills-training to be able to support themselves. My news is that since then I have been given the opportunity to travel to India myself this summer to visit the schools where instruction is given and meet the women I’m helping to support!

So I find myself in the midst of a whirlwind of travel plans, Visa applications, vaccines for developing countries, travel insurance and the like. I really don’t know exactly what to expect next! The cool part though, is that with each part of this whole process I’m able to give it all to Jesus knowing that he has allowed me to take part in such a cool endeavor. This morning is a great example as I was sitting waiting for a series of shots I thought, “Ok Jesus, I am really committing to this. I’m being poked in the arm with all sorts of things, going to swallow some really big pills, and it’s really expensive. But if this is really what you have for me, then great!” And I can honestly say that now as my arm kind of hurts I’m smiling, because I know the ache puts me just a little bit closer to the destination!

I have to say, I’m amazed at how this small project has exploded and has begun to change my life. I’ve definitely never been very interested in overseas missions and have never felt persuaded to sacrifice my time to actually go and visit people in need to learn more about how I can help. But for the first time I am so excited and anxious at the same time; I have no idea what might be in store for me!

I am compelled to go and learn about the lives of the women this project is supporting. I want to meet them, know them, sit and laugh with them and sew with them. I want to learn from their hardships, their lives, their stories. My flesh wants to jump up and say “I’m going to fix all their problems!” But as I talked with a friend the other night who just returned from a developing country I was really convicted that rather than me going on this trip to help others, I’m going to learn more about Jesus and to experience life from a totally different perspective.

I hope that I’ll be able to help and encourage. Maybe what I know about sewing will help their school? I don’t know. But really, I hope that I am able to go on this two-week trip with an open heart; I hope to really get to know these women so that I can come home and encourage others to get involved, buy a scarf, pray for a woman, and just be willing to make a difference!

Do you have a fun experience or some wisdom to share from international traveling? If so, I’d love to hear! Leave a comment … a funny story, a sad story, an encouraging story!

The most amazing gift I received this Christmas was a hugely humbling dose of grace that God gave me through a new project that I timidly took on and saw Him work in an amazing way.

Before you read further, I have to provide a disclaimer about myself: I hate sales, selling things, and convincing someone they need something they really don’t need. I hate waste, inefficiency, and clutter. My strengths are helping people determine what they need and then go after it in the most conservative and efficient way possible.

So knowing that, you can understand why I was really resistant when my flight attendant aunt emailed me to say that she was going to send me a bunch of pashmina scarves she picked up on some recent travels would I be interested in starting a small side business and selling scarves? No way!! I cringed at the thought of meekly peddling scarves among friends and clients . despite the fact that I knew I would be offering them for such a great price half of what a quality luxury pashmina scarf costs at a high-end department store.

Ironically in the same week that I got my aunt’s email I also heard from a friend who had recently been on a mission trip to India and spent time providing free eye and dental care in the House of Hope mission compound. As I spoke with her she passionately shared about a wonderful program she learned about during her trip.

I was reduced to tears as she shared the story of dozens of women who attend a sewing micro-enterprise school in the House of Hope compound where in six months they learn the valuable skills needed to begin their own sewing. At the end of the program they are given a sewing machine and business advice and return to their village to grow their business and support themselves. She told me the personal stories of several women who had been widowed or abandoned and left to make a living by prostitution or who eventually died or were killed because they had no way of earning a living.

My heart cried for these girls (more…)

A few weeks ago this sweet lullaby, Away in a Manger, brought me to tears as I played it on the piano and sang it’s precious words. Yes, I have heard it year after year and at first the words are wonderfully familiar and bring a warm feeling of Christmas; hearing it makes me almost smell evergreen needles and wassail. But as I played it over again and really sang the words as worship I realized how true they still are in my life as an adult and how much I need Jesus more than ever.

I love Thee, Lord Jesus, Look down from the sky. And stay by my side, ‘Til morning is nigh. Quaint, yes, but still just as true today as when I was five.

As my mini-woship session ended and I was alone again with red candles and an advent wreath I whispered my favorite line again, Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay; Close by me forever And love me I pray

This Christmas no matter if you are a child or have children, let yourself take a moment to be young at heart and experience a very simple faith.

Jesus loves you, he was born for you, he wants to be near you each day.

Away in a Manger,
No crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down His sweet head

The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus
Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing
The poor Baby wakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes

I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky
And stay by my side,
‘Til morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there

I must not have been listening very intently to the recent sermon on Humility. Or if I was, I forgot to actually practice humility this week and now I have a dent in my car.

I’m usually such a great parallel-parker. At least I thought I was – which is what got me a little dent. I was so proud of myself the other night when I parallel parked a friend’s huge SUV in an awkward tight spot on a corner in just one try. I was so happy about it that I went and told another friend what a great job I had done and how good it made me feel.

The next day I was paralleling my own small little car, which is something I do often at least daily if not 3 or 4 times a day. When it comes to tight Seattle parking spots, I’m definitely an expert! Which is why I was so surprised that I crunched the side of my car into the bumper of truck as I was speedily, and pridefully, paralleling the day after feeling so great about my skills.

It didn’t take more than a few seconds for me to reflect back on the arrogant attitude I was sporting a day earlier and as I surveyed the minor damage to my car my face was hot with humiliation. I’d like to say here that I believe humility and humiliation are two different things, and truthfully I would much prefer to practice humility than to suffer routine humiliation after being prideful.

And believe me, God will allow us to be humiliated when our prideful attitudes get in the way of practicing humility. A dent in my car? A small thing, yes. An insignificant thing that I will get over.

But a proud attitude? Let’s just say that I’m thankful the only damage was done to my car and not to someone I love. Because usually the consequences of pride are destruction and folly, as this proverb accurately proclaims: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and the twenty-three years of warm memories I have surrounding these favorite holidays. I’m sad because this year the holidays are going to be different, and honestly, I’m kind of disappointed.

I’m one of those “Seattle-transplants” that Pastor Mark is always talking about I came here to go to school and fell in love with the rain and coffee and culture and technology and honestly don’t think I’ll ever leave. Most of the time I have this satisfying sense of independence and ownership when I think of Seattle as “my city” since my immediate family and relatives all live in California. Most of them have never even ventured up here past the curious state of Oregon to visit the utterly mysterious state of Washington and this vast area known as the Northwest.

So 364 days a year I love being on my own creating my own memories (most of which include a latte, an experience within itself which has unfortunately become an all-too-frequent ritual and form of comfort). But one day a year in particular I am quite happy to be at (more…)