Reforming the Feminine ContentMy Family, My Idol
Today a Mars Hill member writes on her struggles in worshiping and fearing her family more than Jesus. Can you relate? Maybe you don’t have an “obvious idol” - like pornography or overeating or drunkenness. But what about the beautiful gift of family? Do you love them more than Jesus?
God created us to worship. It’s how we’re made. So when we’re not properly worshiping Him, our hearts are quickly drawn to a cheap replacement. For me, that has been my family. Which is rather confusing since family in itself is a good thing. But it can easily take the form of idolatry when I choose family over Jesus. Let me explain.
As a single woman, I have held my family above Christ by refusing to speak truth at the risk of disrupting my family’s so-called peace or potentially losing relationship with them altogether. I knew God was calling me to bring into the light past family sin that had never been discussed since it occurred 27 years ago. I could see how it could be used to show them God’s grace by coming to them in truth and forgiveness. And although there was great possibility to see lives transformed, I sinned against God by instead choosing my family and my own comfort because the risk was too high.
Not having a husband or children of my own, the thought of being left “alone” was unbearable. I literally thought I wouldn’t be able to live without my family. But what I was choosing in that was that I could live without loving Jesus.
It took a long time of wrestling with my convictions before I actually repented. I sat in my sin and played every scenario out in my head, resolving that I couldn’t bear the worst case outcome. As a follower of Jesus, I believed that I would give up the thing I cherished the most to follow Him. But I never actually had to put that belief into action, until now.
Through a lot of prayer and struggle, God changed my heart and gave me the boldness to trust in His sovereignty. Out of a changed heart and a desire to love and follow Him no matter the cost, I initiated a truth-bearing conversation with my family that resulted in intense pain, disappointment and severed relationship. In the midst of this season of suffering, though, I rest knowing that I have chosen Jesus above that which I have held above Him for my entire life. And no matter the situation with my own family, I am comforted by my Heavenly Father who promises I will never be left alone.
Psalm 27:10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.
This is SO brave. Either way you suffer & struggle, and it can be agony as you transfer that struggle per Jesus’ instruction. In the end, better to suffer for good in the sanctification process. As such, the Church has a unique opportunity to be a comfort and refuge for you in Christ. We will be praying for you.
Wow. You risked great loss and in fact experienced great loss. For now. As we know, God has a way of restoring and redeeming. My heart goes out to you, and my prayers. Thanks for doing the right thing.
I’m facing a similar situation , and have greatly pondered and prayed regarding my situation, since reading your testimony.
God keep you.
[...] those of you that read my last post, My Family, My Idol, you read about the turbulent time I’ve been having since confronting my family about past sin. [...]