Reforming the Feminine ContentSafe Schmafe
As a mother, I’m often overwhelmed at the gazillion gidgets and gadgets for sale touting “safety.” I understand the necessity of car seats, gates in front of the stairs, cabinet locks, and all those products that make life safe and prudent. I just scratch my head at the sheer volume of products that line the shelves, from what is reasonable to what is truly insane. All in an attempt to alleviate our deepest physical fears as parents. 
Maybe the more children you have, the more you relax. People say we’re “laid back” as parents. Maybe so. Not much surprises us. [SIDENOTE: Before I got married I had six theories on raising children. Now I have six children and no theories.]
It’s pretty much a given you’ll be neurotic with your first. The pacifier bounces on the floor, and you scald the nipple [and everything else she touches]. By your third, as the line goes in Parenthood, you’re yawning while they juggle knives.
Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary definese SAFE as:
Free from danger of any kind; as safe from enemies; safe from disease; safe from storms; safe from the malice of foes. Free from hurt, injury or damage. Not exposing to danger; No longer dangerous; placed beyond the power of doing harm. Without injury. Exemption from hurt, injury or loss.
It seems the world is always seeking total exemption from hurt, injury or loss. Which is completely unreasonable when comparing my Bible and the world under a Curse. Sure we should strive for prudent physical safety with our kids. But it takes real guts to believe Jesus for our kids physical and spiritual safety: John 17, “Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name - the name you gave me - so that they may be one as we are one. ..My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ”
The world was not a friendly or safe place for Jesus, or his followers, ever. Even before He was born, men sought to kill him. Following Jesus meant putting oneself at risk - then and now. I’d even go so far as to say that satan might have a special target on our kids. The comforting confidence is that protection and safety was paramount in Jesus’ prayers. It’s amazing to think that Jesus prayed for my kids’ protection 2,000 years ago. And Romans 8:34 promises that He’s He’s still at it.
I watched (through tears) the Steven Curtis Chapman family interview on Larry King Live the other night.
What was most remarkable, and comforting, to me through this family’s tragedy was God’s ability to protect their belief in His goodness, His faithfulness, His sovereignty. To keep their faith SAFE despite the fact that many in the world accuse Him of failing to keep their daughter safe. http://trevinwax.com/2008/08/08/steven-curtis-chapman-on-larry-king-live/ Real faith, like the Chapmans, is always at risk. The risk is part of what makes it real. Or as Jesus said in his prayer: “As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.”
The world was not a safe place for Jesus. If “He is our example…” [1 Peter 2:21], why would we think it would be any different for us?
I have 2 children and one on the way, and my husband and I are both the oldest, and it looks like we’re the only ones who are going to be having kids for the next 10 years. Both of our mothers are either gone or moved far away, and I have one 72 year old aunt left. When I started motherhood, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. Because of how secluded we are from family, geographically, I had to find auxiliary mothers to glean insight from. I know I hover over my kids a little more than other moms. But when I was 11 I was in a very terrible car accident (I was on my bike) which still has effects today…so I know that sometimes terrible things happen. Yet, I have found that when terrible things do happen (which they have, and are bound to), I snap right into taking care of the situation, no anxiety, no panic. I believe in my heart that God has blessed our family with clumsy people, and even though things will happen…He will watch over us and heal us. Every time one of us is hurt, I remind us all that healing takes time; because sometimes we are prone to impatience, and we amusingly demand our bodies to heal in a day.
Just this weekend I took my kids on a day camping trip, and when we were in the lake I noticed that my kids were the only ones with floatation devices (sewn into their suits, naturally), and I was the only mother in the water. I laughed at myself for being so protective, but I enjoyed the time with my kids searching for sharks and jumping in the buoyancy. And yet, when we got back to camp, despite all the preparations for safety I created for my children, my 4 year old daughter was showing me a “big rock,” and dropped it on her big toe, removing the entire nail very quickly. With her toe packed in blood, paper towels and ice from the cooler, we sped to the ER. And I remind us again that it will take weeks for this wound to heal, and a year for the nail to grow back. I had prepared for the dangers of the water, but I didn’t see the dangers of the rocks!
And that is how I’ve seen my life go. I can prepare myself for upcoming theoretical events, but there will be things I don’t think I am prepared for…which is where God’s reminder is always there to meet me: even though it is a smart mother who prepares for her children for earthly matters, a wise mother prepares her children for things they cannot see. My faith takes me beyond the event and I am able to handle any situation which worried me to death just moments before. When I feel the peace from God overwhelm me in times of trouble, I am able. Fear has no bearing on my heart, because Satan and God cannot reside in my heart at once, and I know am able to take care of my children, or myself, with confidence. And that is something that stays with me in the gospels, is the confidence in the Father. So many times people say, “I know”: “Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” John 11:24, “but I know him because I am from him and he sent me.” John 7:29, “The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.” Matthew 28:5, “Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” John 11:42.
Even though it is difficult for us to explain how we trust in God with our children, in this life or after, so often it comes down to, “I just know He always will.”
I enjoy your passion in this article Shelly. Thank you for sharing it.
Shelly - thank you. this was a much needed reminder for me, many situations have come up recently where the options have been ’safe’ or the unknown.
Well said, Tamarah.