Reforming the Feminine ContentNaked & Unashamed
By Tera Miller
Editor’s note: Tera Miller loves Jesus, is a Mars Hill Member at the Ballard Campus, is a hilarious Cranium teammate, and wrote for the former Vox Pop Magazine. She is real and she is gutsy. Look for more to come.
When I was first invited to go to a Korean women’s day spa, I was elated at the idea of soaking in therapeutic whirlpools with hydro jets, breathing in the aromas of the Mugwart steam sauna, and meditating in one of the heated rooms lined with different elements like jade, sand or clay. I could almost feel my skin getting smoother by the second!
But when I learned that it was a naked spa, I literally heard the record player scratch in my head and the music suddenly go silent. NAKED? Are you for real? How naked are we talking? Well, apparently, naked means nothing but a pink fabric shower cap over your hair and a bracelet with your locker key around your wrist. That’s pretty naked by my standards.
You see, Korean bath houses are a centuries-old tradition, beneficial for reducing stress, moisturizing the skin and relaxing muscles. Traditionally, the communal facilities are co-ed, but because of cultural differences in the U.S., the spas adapted a women-only concept. (Whew!)
Regardless, fear still set in. I could never be in a room with other naked women. Everyone would see my body and there would be nothing to cover or mask all my imperfections. How could I carry on a conversation with a naked person sitting next to me? It would be so embarrassing walking across the room when I’d know everyone would be staring at me and comparing my body to the other women.
That was my shame taking over. But where was it coming from? Why is the thought of being naked so shameful? In attempt to overcome this fear, I took a deep breath and agreed to go.
I tried to mentally prepare myself for the defining moment. The moment when I had to drop my robe. Oh, how I wished my pink shower cap was bigger, and fit more like a dress! There I stood, naked and quickly overcome with shame. I entered the closest whirlpool and sunk down to the tip of my chin. Safe. But as I sat there trying to get the most of this ‘relaxing’ experience, the Holy Spirit reminded me of God’s truth and how He had formed me and the rest of these women.
Just as quickly as my robe had fallen, the lies were exposed for what they really were. My eyes were open and as I looked around, I saw many beautiful bodies. Some young, some old. Some small, some large. Some with tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, and even scars from past mastectomy surgeries. What made them so beautiful was that I was seeing them through the eyes of the Lord, rather than the eyes of the world. The standard of beauty is from Him, as we are created in His likeness.
The shame I had been feeling was created by the lies of Satan and the lies of the world that I believed to be true about my body. My shame wasn’t legitimate though. There was nothing neither sinful nor truly shameful about my naked body being in an appropriate setting. Legitimate shame is what we feel when our depravity is exposed and we are in sin. What I was feeling was illegitimate shame, which is an attack on my dignity – a body given to me by God.
God has given each of us our unique physical stature for His special purpose. He has taken great care in forming the details of our bodies – every single inch.
Then I was reminded of Psalm 139: 13-15, where it says,
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I rose from the first whirlpool and wandered to the next with a little more ease. Slowly but surely, the spa became a place of redemption for me. As I walked to a new location, baring all, I reminded myself of God’s love in creating my body. His thought that went into forming my arms, my legs, my stomach, my neck. And that it was all perfect in His eyes.
There I finally stood, naked and unashamed.
Tera, Thank you for your honesty and sharing your experience. There is such freedom in being naked and unashamed! Christ has gently taught me too how to be comfortable in beautiful vulnerability the past two months of being newly married.
Tera,
Thank you for this beautiful article. Just reading the words made me panic, at the thought of having to be naked in front of others. I appreciate your honesty and openness, about your own fear and shame. I’m struggling with knowing if my shame is legitimate or not. Part of me is ashamed because I haven’t taken good care of the the body Christ made for me and so my body directly reflects these sins. However there is also a part of me that hears the lies of the enemy saying you are dirty and ugly. I will continue to seek Christ in exposing the truth in my shame and where to walk in freedom and where to repent and seek restoration. Thank you for encouraging me through your article to do just this.
Hi Tara,
I would panic and run too at the thought of being naked in front of other women. I don’t know if I would do it. Just like the other lady I have a weight problem too. I gained weight with my 2 pregnancies and I can’t seem to lose it. To tell you the truth I have not been trying that hard either. I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday and it was about young women with anorexia. Young girls were starving themselves to death and binging and throwing up their meals. My husband looked at me and said “Why aren’t you anorexic?” (I am a Christian, he is not) He was probably joking but I think a part of him was serious. He might have thought it was funny but I did not. It really hurt me. No wonder women have such low self esteem!!
I went through much the same experience in Japan during missions trips there. My team and I were taken to several hot springs by our hosts and it was much like this - segregated by gender, but completely au natural! I went through almost the exact same thought process as you did in overcoming my initial shame at being stark naked in front of so many people. It really is quite liberating to take the plunge - and then you look around and see that no one is “perfect,” we’re all unique and beautiful in our own way, and created just as we are by God. So, all that to say I know exactly how you felt
Yay! I wanna go.
i have a friend in morocco who raves about the hammam experience they have there (not quite as naked but essentially–yes). i knew she would want me to go when i visited her, and i nearly canceled the trip i dreaded that aspect so much. i made myself go with her and enjoyed it in spite of myself. didn’t tell her till after the fact how very sick i had actually been with dread. it was a very communal, freeing thing that reminded me a lot of the transparency and humble vulnerability you see in a Word-centered church family. we’re all in this together, we’re all imperfect and yet made in God’s image, we all need to be thoroughly and regularly cleansed (sometimes not by our own two hands). my friend is getting married in philadelphia this summer, and we’re all on the look-out for a philadelphian hammam we can visit the week of her wedding. =}
[...] Miller’s vulnerable article “Naked and Unashamed” was only posted a few days ago and garnered a lot of attention and responses. She really wrote well [...]
it’s so funny in America how we like to distance ourselves and are afraid of getting too close to people. In Asia, distance is a luxury. There are so many people jam packed in so little space that you just learn to deal with it. And yes, if you are caucasian and you walk into a spa or onsen (hot spring) then everyone stares at you…it’s pretty funny
I think being naked with your girlfriends really allows you to open up. After all, what else is there to hide? But unfortunately my girlfriends are still too nervous…i’ve asked but their fear of it just makes it so awkward!
Wow, you have so much courage, and then to write about it afterward! I do not think I would have accepted that offer–I have issues with even going to the doctor or to get a facial at a spa, let alone where you went…but good for you, hopefully Jesus can work in all of us that still have that shame, the same way He did with you.
Thank you to all the women who have commented and shared from their hearts. It’s encouraging to hear that things are stirring in your own life stories as a response to my personal story. And I am excited to see how it will all fit into God’s great story.
p.s. Adriel, thanks for the kind editor’s note. I am honored to be a part of this blog with you and the other amazing women writers. Oh, and I’m down for Cranium anytime. You rock the Creative Cat!
I am a Tera Miller Fan Club Member!! Girl, i am so proud of YOU and amazed and encouraged so much by how JESUS has worked in you. Thanks for being naked! I love you!!