Reforming the Feminine ContentUNRAVELING 2 MUCH TOO BUSY
At some point in the high-speed connection of city life, you will inevitably hear someone say to you, “You’re doing too much.” These are opportunities to check oneself.
There are a few questions you can ask yourself. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are ugly.
The first question, “Am I?” can put you on a circular, sometimes fruitless, rumination of your current life. You calculate your every move, from when you wake up, to when you go to bed. You hyperfocus on all the things you do. You make lists of how productive you are. “Am I?” then rebounds into the equally self-propelled question, “What can I cut out?” In my experience, this often leads to desperate attempts to scratch for the comforts of peace and time in order to stifle immediate pressures. In this hyper-vigilent state, you karate chop the very next thing(s) that call for your attention. Although it may alleviate the immediate time pressures and give an instant gratification that you are “taking charge of your time”, impulsive decisions can have long-term effects, and may be unhelpful in the long run. Often they are hardly the commitments God would have you axe. For instance, life is upside down crazy and you decide community group is just “one more thing”. But living out of Christian community leads to a stunted spiritual growth in the big picture.
The real question to ask to ask when you are confronted with ”You’re doing too much and you’re too busy”, is “Am I, LORD?” This is a huge distinction with gigantic implications. It’s the difference between human discernment and divine discernment. Jesus is always the first person to bring your schedule and commitments to. Especially as we try to unravel what we should do versus what God has called me (and equipped me), to do.
I’m no expert on 2 Much Too Busy, but I have wrestled out a few things over the years. I have had many periods of prayer, agony, hurts, frustrations and contemplation over the pressures of 2 Much Too Busy: The judgments of the well-intentioned [and often misinformed], telling me I am doing too much, versus the realities of the life that Jesus has entrusted me to juggle. The inner guilts, conflicts and prioritizing that come along with that. Spiritual giftings that propel me forward like a freight train. A personality bordering ADD and OCD qualities. Having an insatiable desire to create. A deep love for people. And facing the ugly truth when it’s been true - that I am doing too much.
It is important to realize that God will send us people who tell us true things about ourselves, however their words may sting. On the flip side, some people won’t understand our life and, though well-intentioned, bring false guilts and judgments. God can use anyone in our lives, but in this circumstance, how well does this person know you? Are they in any way intimate? Do they know your weaknesses, your strengths when they weigh this out? Are they privy to what Jesus is doing in your life? Or are they shooting from the hip, like some neighbor watching your life out of the picture window across the street?
Life moves at mach speed in the O’s household, but I rarely struggle with residual contemplations, guilt, or people’s judgements like I used to agonize over as a young Christian. I’m at a point where the Holy Spirit has worked out a proactive theology for me in unraveling 2 Much Too Busy. Although I rarely take time to explain the 9 yards to anyone, or defend myself when I am told I do too much, I thought I would pass along a few pieces of my journey in the next few weeks for whatever its worth to those who, like me, must teeter totter sanity with the 2 Much Too busy realities of life under a curse.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I’ve hit some home runs too. Nothing is ever as clear-cut as it looks. I’ll follow-up next blog with
THE SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF 2 MUCH TOO BUSY
Thank you for these words, Shelly.
How did you learn to hear/know the Spirit’s conviction versus guilt induced by well-meaning friends/family on your 2 Much Too Busy confrontations? This is where I struggle. I have a hard time telling the difference emotionally. Maybe this means it’s more often guilt than conviction…?
This is a huge topic, and in breaking it down in increments, I hope to address this in pieces, or at least how God has worked in me. I will say that most people tend to be reductionists (”just don’t do so much”). It’s been helpful for me to take the time to break my life down at different points when I am faced with a lot of heat and individually bring my commitments to the Throne in a time of prayer/fasting/silence/solitude. Once I know I am on track with Jesus, it’s easier to be teflon with false guilts and judgments that satan tries to stick me with, whether its my own heart condemning me or others. Second, recognize that women tend to compare themselves with each other. Just because someone else can’t fathom how a woman “does all that”, doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be done. Christ empowers us with different giftings, as well as promises “the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Heb. 12:11) to those who have been past trained by disciplines. For me, one of those harvests has been incredible flexibility and mental fortitude. What is a trial to one saint may hardly be a trial for another, right. God knows what he’s doing, and he hand picks our heat for our good harvest, if we are trained by it.
I think its too simplistic to reduce this all to guilt/conviction, do/don’t do, because inbetween that there’s so much more to consider. I do know there can be peace and a confidence of knowing your in the center of His will, even with incredible heat. Keeping the heart of Mary and abiding in Christ as we run around like Martha. It’s possible. Stay tuned~
I think the main thing I’ve noticed about busy-ness in our culture is that it has become an idol. It’s become a prideful thing. We have to describe ourselves as “very busy”. Busy equates to “important”. Whenever I hear someone speaking of how busy they are, or asking someone else “where do you find the time”, I find a commentary on perceived importance. As a SAHM, I’ve been fascinated (and depressed) to watch how people react to my choice/calling. What? I’m not a “working” mother (every mother is)? I have time to make a meal for my family? I must not be that important. But I saw the same thing before I was a SAHM, friends who had to book seeing me 4 weeks in advance due to busy-ness. In college, people “sooo stressed out” because of the number of clubs and organizations and parties they had to attend. Spoken busy-ness = importance = pride/idolatry. I would suggest. Thank you so much for blogging on this topic in a less than prideful way.