Waiting is not one of my strong points.I am not what I would call a patient person. I want to get things done right, fast, and now.This of course works very well for an easy going and satisfying life.I want to be toned up and lose 5 pounds, *bam* done. I want to be done with school, have my glorified piece of paper and be done with all the busy work, *huzzah* done. I want my house to be completely fixed and have nice flooring, and a bathroom that isn’t purple, *bing* done.In my dreams.So, in the midst of being an impatient person, with a life that seldom cooperates (except on the few and far between occasions when the microwave cooks my dinner for me), I have been learning this mystical art of being patient (not that I’m anywhere near being an ‘A’ student).I can’t say that I didn’t see this lesson coming either. When I was 18 and finishing up a Bible study that I had been in for almost 2 years, our leader gave me this verse:

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,for my hope is from him.” Psalm 62:5 

So as I sit now looking at 26 in the ever nearing future, I hear – as always – Jesus saying “wait on Me.” Which I don’t think is merely a “hey, sit over there and the Savior will be with you shortly” kind of thing. But it actually hits me as a “wait on Me,” in the serving frame of reference. To wait on the Lord, to serve Him, to seek Him out and ask “what do You want of me today? What should my attitude be like? What words should pass over my lips? What looks should people see on my face and in my eyes? Where is my heart at? And where does it need to be?” Which is sometimes a hard concept to grasp considering that God has no needs.So I will wait in both senses. And fight against my fidgety heart.

“…Author of life…” Acts 3:15

“…Author of salvation…” Hebrews 2:10

“…Author and Perfector of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2

Aside from my lessons in rich character study from the Bible, the Author of My Life has also seen fit to deeply impress me with a host of characters from reading classic literature over the years.  I have a unique collection of novel “friends” - favorite characters from classic books and authors - that are somewhat of a community group, as it were, of my own.  The pen of fabulous writers have written characters who to this day polish, challenge, rebuke, correct, and train me in righteousness in more ways than I could articulate.  Although never a replacement for my favorite Author, classic works nevertheless have had a tremendous (more…)

Hebrews 11:6 - And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

In a season when my Bible has not been read in saintly quantity, small verses have been laying heavy on my heart. 

I look at my lack of Bible reading, I look at my neglected relationship with Jesus, I look at my feelings of inadequacy as I am consistently falling short of where I ought to be with my Savior. And it has recently struck me that it is a faith-issue, not a laziness issue.

Hebrews 11:6 really socks me. What is faith? I have always thought I have the gift of faith. I mean, I believe in God. You can’t talk me out of it.

…because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists…

This is easy for me. I know God is there. I know that Jesus is God incarnate. I know that. I believe it, through and through. Of course he exists. He’s huge, he’s powerful, he made everything, he’s strong, he can do anything he wants, he knows all, sees all, is terrible and awesome, and so on. There is no shaking this with me. 

…and that he rewards those that earnestly seek him. 

This other half of faith makes me want to cry. I am so weak here, so full of doubt. How often do I feel totally alone in my day, like God is off doing his big work in the sky and I am in a dark trench just trying to stay alive? How often do I half-heartedly open my Bible thinking, “I wonder if I will get anything at all today?” How often do I wonder “what is the point?” about prayer, thinking “he’ll hear me, because he knows everything, but he probably won’t say anything back.”

Honestly, despite my confident manner, head-full of Bible trivia and life-long relationship with the Lord, I often feel like God hides himself. Perhaps he does sometimes. But accompanying that thought is the idea in my brain that God is too important to show himself to me, and (more…)

I read in a magazine that women are twice as likely to ruminate on problems than men. 

This statement pretty much mirrors my husband and I in marriage.  He sleeps pretty well (at least in part due to his gift of faith), while I, on the other hand, having a gift of discernment, coupled with an ability to see many facets to a situation, can easily slide from helpful prayer warrior into A#1 Ruminator (the more people you love under a Curse = the more problems with facets).    Recognizing my backstroke in what John Bunyan termed The Slough of Despond (Pilgrim’s Progress) this week, a few verses collided in my Bible reading:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.  I Corinthians 10:13 (KJV)

Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.  Psalm 33:1 (NIV)

Ruminators tend to keep mental lists of how hard life is, sometimes comparing it with others.  My life is SO MUCH HARDER than yours, and I have (more…)