Reforming the Feminine ContentI Am Barefoot and Pregnant!
Hallelujah!
Seems like “Barefoot and Pregnant” is used as an insult, but I don’t mind it!
First of all, I have always loved being barefoot. We never wore shoes in our house, and shoes always made my feet stink. I never really liked socks either. If I could, I would walk around barefoot all the time. (Except outside, because it kind of hurts.)
Second of all, having a baby is a blessing for me, my husband and my family. The reason I feel like it’s necessary to clarify that a baby is blessing is because I’ve already gotten “You’re chained for life,” “I can’t believe you want to have a baby,” and “Why do you want to have a baby already?” comments from some friends and people I know. Tip to those who like saying those comments: Don’t say it anymore when the girl is actually pregnant because you don’t know if the sweet girl that wouldn’t fight back with you ever before just may scratch you and yell a little. It’s funny how my priorities changed so quick. My natural instinct is to protect the little growing alien in my tummy, and I will run over and destroy anything that puts it in danger! I feel like a wild lion mommy or something. RAAWWRR!!!!! But FYI, I can promise I won’t scratch.
I am crazy. I am passionate and intense (if you haven’t noticed already). Being passionate can be a great thing, but when it’s mixed with intensity and craziness — it equals a stomach ulcer and heartburn. Since I’ve been of legal drinking age, I’ve been drinking alcohol to unwind and chill out. When I had a stressful day, if I had a glass of wine, I could forget about why I’m so stressed. Issues weren’t really issues anymore after a glass of wine.
I also used to smoke almost every time I drank alcohol. It was pretty awesome to be able to have a drink, and have a smoke with people from church. The other day, I went to a show, and I wanted to smoke. Not because I like inhaling cigarettes, but because I missed the social part of standing outside, laughing, joking and talking to people and getting to know them! I’m not saying you can’t get to know someone inside a house, sitting down with a glass of yummy flavored water. But there is something about smoking with someone and just being okay with how different we are. I think it is safe to say that for me - getting to know people outside, with a cig in hand, helped cut out awkwardness in a conversation. Call it lame… but it’s true for me.
So where am I now? I stopped drinking, Yes. And I stopped smoking, Yup. And I also stopped breathing when walking by friends that smoke… haha, yup.
Well, let me tell you… I freaked out the other night. I was anxious, tired, so cranky and stressed. I started thinking about how I could relax and make myself feel better. What can I do to chill out? What do I usually do that makes me feel better? That’s when I realized that I’ve been going to alcohol to disconnect from my life. I always knew I had to watch HOW MUCH I drank because of my intolerance, but I never thought I needed to evaluate WHY I liked drinking! It had turned from enjoying a glass of legal alcohol… to an dangerous way to escape my life. I thought back on how many times I drank when I was in a bad mood. (I’m always in a bad mood… and that’s enough for a whole other blog post.)
There are a lot of things I have to re-evaluate and think about as a new mom now.
Thank you God for letting this little baby be an important changinig experience, already!
Jesus brings us a lot of grace and blessing through children. I remember this girl who used to be a crazy partier in high school and was so reckless with herself and her friends — drugs, parties, boys, insanity. When she got pregnant, she decided to keep her baby and her life made a 180. I remember talking with her (we were both friends because we were social outcasts in our youth group — I was shy and homely, and she was wild) and seeing the soft look in her eyes as she held her baby. She said to me, “everything is totally different. I don’t have any of my old friends at all. They just don’t get that I can’t do that stupid stuff any more.”
Congratulations, Candice!! Thanks for sharing some honest insight.
Congratulations! Good luck with finding another means of chilling. Thanks for being real.
Yay Candice!!! I’m so happy for you! And it’s so great to hear what you’re learning about priorities and what it will be like to be a mom
Will I see you at the Women’s Retreat this year?
Congratulations Candice!!
and thank you for your honesty in this, it’s awesome. what an awesome blessing it will be for your little tummy alien to have a mom like you.
I’m not gonna make it to the retreat. I need to be in Ballard sunday morning… Have FUN THOUGH!
Congrats on your baby- they are a challenge at times (mine is teething!), but such a blessing. And good luck with the adjustment to learning to relax without alcohol. It can become an easy fall-back option at the end of a long day, but the alternatives are much better! Good luck with everything!
When I was pregnant with my last son, I had a friend say to me, “Better you than me.” It took me a long time to figure out all the angles of why that hurt me, but one piece of it that God showed me was that as she put more weight on how she would feel being pregnant (obviously awful), she ended up totally missing mine (joyful yet needing encouragement). It felt like she had painted a wall between us with red words: ICK HORRID POOR YOU. I had to work through my issues and forgive her for that, even though she never knew it. Of course, I’m very passionate too, so these people who dampened your joy really annoy me. In any case, we take this all back to the Word and know that every life is a miracle, a good and perfect gift, and how very precious to see your mother’s heart already coming out to protect. That’s so divine! Yay - I’m so excited for you!
I remember back when Kaitlyn was around 5 and I was busy climbing the corporate ladder, my niece called me from England to tell me she was pregnant with her 3rd child. My response was “are you *bleeping* crazy? I had no desire for more children and couldn’t understand why she would want more especially since she was in the USAF and traveled most of the year. My comment sucked and I know I really hurt her.
If she called me today and told me she was going to have another child I think I would throw her a party.
I’m constantly amazed at how God took me on a journey from being defenseless and dependent on people, to being self-sufficient and a provider, to being loved and provided for. With that comes the desire for many children and a completely different heart towards being home with family.
Congratulations Candice, the Noriega’s are THRILLED for you and Johnny!
[...] I have a dirty little habit of half-listening (isn’t that like being half-pregnant? Candice, your the resident expert now, can that [...]