Reforming the Feminine ContentLife as Jonah
So, we have once again entered into the holiday season, my life is. busy. As I’ve sat here trying to think of what to write, as the self protective part of me wants to write something trite and nice, the other fire breathing part of me wont let me.
I’ve been reading Jonah this last week, over and over. And have been thinking over it. Then there is this in verse 2 of Chapter 4 where Jonah is talking to God and says this “That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.” Jonah doesn’t want to tell the Ninevehites about God because he knows God’s character. He knows that God will show mercy to them.
I feel like Jonah much more often than I would ever like to admit. I meet people who are horrible, and I think “You are a horrible person” so easily forgetting how horrible I am, and that their horribleness is apparently just easier to see than my own. Thoughts run through my head that somehow they don’t deserve to hear about Jesus, that they don’t deserve forgiveness.
There’s a scene in Great Expectations (I’ve only ever watched the trailer.) where Finn says “Anything, that might be special in me, is you.” And often, that is how I see myself, if I’m being honest. The only thing special or good in me is Jesus.
I’m not very generous when it comes to being merciful. I forget how merciful God has been to me, and I withhold mercy from others. I withhold sharing Jesus with people because of how I feel towards them, and then expect to be shown mercy for my failings. I hope that I am one of the few that identifies all too closely with Jonah, but I have the feeling many do.
Lord, please don’t let me be like Jonah.
I ran from Jesus for years…Ironically, if I had not run from Jesus I would have become a legalistic Christian. It’s funny. Either way I would have screwed up. I can truly say to anyone who has struggled with legalism that I do understand. I wouldn’t say I was judgmental growing up, but I did have some very self-righteous attitudes that often emerged in a “I told you so,” fashion, because I was always right in the end (as a teenager).
What a good idea to read excerpts of Jonah today. Thanks Laurel. I like the providential aspect of this story, in that even though Jonah’s heart was hardened, God’s plan marches on to use him. I too want to run from God’s design so often (I have a tremendous idol for comforts, especially emotionally to feel ‘medium’), and yet to think that perhaps, like Jonah, I never really “can” anyways because God will forever be faithful to complete His work through me, encourages me tremendously to quit mentally lollygagging. God has mercies as I quit wasting time running, even mentally, from my responsibilities. Jonah 2:8 says “Those who regard worthless idols forsake their own mercy.” Hmmmm….