“This person Jesus I am utterly fascinated with this man. I don’t know the significance of the crucifixion and the resurrection. I’m workin’ on that. I’m studying. But I do feel that he carried God and that what he preached was totally revolutionary, and it’s totally what we need now. I mean the most revolutionary statement anyone could make is “love thy neighbor as thyself’ whew, man! If we could live what he taught, everything would change. But it ain’t what goes by the name of Christianity right now.” Jane Fonda

(Rolling Stone Magazine, online audio interview and as quoted in The Week vol. 7, iss. 310)

Jane Fonda. What an interesting woman. Sex symbol. Women’s health and exercise guru. Anti-war political activist. I have to say I am drawn to her as a strong, woman-leading-women with a lot of influence.

I will presume expertise neither in the publicly acknowledged facts of Ms. Fonda’s life and career, nor the state of her heart. And I want to be careful what I say about her in my ignorance. She is my sister, created and loved by God.

I will tell you that when I was very young, her name was associated with not only exercise and fitness, but other names of Blonde Women that Are Undermining Traditional Christian American Morals and Values in Our Men, like Madonna and Marilyn Monroe. That was back in the day when I wrote in my wide-ruled journal that I was cheering for any team that played AGAINST the Razorbacks, since they were Bill Clinton’s favorite team, and, as all us good, godly conservative Christians knew, Bill Clinton was the pawn of the devil.

Yikes. I epitomized what Ms. Fonda gently-yet-deftly critiques among the culturally mainstream Christians in America looking and acting nothing like Christ. Of course, in that classic Christian-kid’s coming-of-age “rebellion’, I discovered I like a lot of Madonna’s music, think Marilyn Monroe was a beautiful woman with a tragic ending, and . . .  I am intrigued by Jane Fonda’s conversion to Christianity. And more recently, her words on Jesus as quoted in The Week from her interview in Rolling Stone this month. (The quote above is a conglomeration of her audio interview and her written one as posted in May 18th’s The Week magazine).

I listened to the brief portion of her interview about her spirituality (it’s the last clip of the five listed on Rolling Stone’s website). While there were statements that my legalistic heart (prone to raise hell over theological discrepancies) jumped out at, overall I was enchanted to hear Ms. Fonda share her fascination with the man Jesus. She seems pleasantly surprised to see how “radical” and different Jesus is in the Bible from the Jesus projected by mainline Christianity. I love her “outsider” viewpoint on this. I wish more people would pick up the Bible and read about Jesus instead of just hearing what everyone else is paraphrasing for the third or twelfth time.

After finishing listening to her interview excerpt, I realized there were two ways I could go with her thoughts and statements. The first one was to freak out that she says things like “I was studying with someone for whom the Bible is literally word of God. and I had to stop because I began to feel this precious reverence.disappear. So I began to study on my own” or “If God is male, then men are God, and women are less than.” And I could ramp up all my arguments for why things are in the Bible the way they are, etc. I could say, “yes, God is not gendered, since he preceded gender, but he has chosen to reveal himself as male and a Father” and go on about the Mesopotamian norms that would have made it very culturally acceptable for a female deity, and that it is not proof of a God fashioned in our cultural preferences and now archaic, blah blah blah.

The other path was to stay focused on Jesus. Which I have only recently begun to do in all aspects of my life, rather than just the ideological. Here, listening to Jane’s interview, I am delighted to know that Jesus has caught her eye. That the Word of God in flesh speaks to Ms. Fonda. That she is enchanted with him. And lift up prayers that he continue to pursue her and reveal himself to her as she studies to ascertain “the significance of the crucifixion and the resurrection.” And to accept correction from a woman that my conservative Christian roots look at with scornful and prideful eyes so unlike Jesus they make me ashamed. To follow her example and become fascinated by the revolutionary life and work of Jesus and to take it one step beyond where she’s at and thank him for revealing to ME the significance of the crucifixion and the resurrection. To repent for losing sight of HIM and replacing my Jesus with pride-inducing, impeccable & mind-bound theology and self-righteousness.

…Finds Her Identity and Security in Christ.

In part 1 of this series, we discussed the need for women to confess their sin and be honest about their struggles.  Instead, the norm in most churches is that the majority of us wear plastic smiles each Sunday, hoping that no one will notice what’s really going on in our hearts.  But what do we do with this sin we confess?  How does repentance take place?  And how can we possibly forgive those who have committed heinous acts against us?  In a word, the gospel.

Many of us have looked on the gospel, understanding that Christ paid the penalty for our sin by His death on the cross so that we might be forgiven and have a right relationship with God.   But a lot of us stopped looking on it, meditating on it, and valuing it after we first came to know Christ.  We mistakenly think that the gospel is needed only early on in our relationship with God.  The thinking goes that at some point, I understood the gospel and now I need to move on to focus on other Christian doctrine and moral commands.  Once again, the Apostle Paul clears up this wrong kind of thinking with his frank words to the church at Galatia. 

Galatians 3:3 (ESV) - Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?

 (or “by human effort” in the NIV)

Paul warns us from thinking that while we needed the Spirit at the day of our salvation, we can accomplish the rest of our Christian life with our own human effort.  I don’t want to review the whole of the gospel here.  In fact, I envision a target audience reading this who well understand the gospel and their need for a Savior.  Rather, I hope to emphasize that we don’t ever graduate past a need to meditate on the gospel. 

In my experience, Christian women tend to fall into one of two patterns of wrong thinking.  The first group of women have developed their idea of the Ideal Christian Woman, using their own talents and giftedness as the model.  Then they secretly admire themselves because they keep this standard and subtly pressure their Christian sisters to maintain their standard of the Ideal Christian Woman.  The second group of women have developed their idea of the Ideal Christian Woman not from their own strengths but from the Christian sisters they know that seem to have it all together.  This second group of women keeps trying and failing to fully live up to this standard and feel constant frustration and condemnation within themselves because of it. 

Because so many of the women at Mars Hill are in their child-bearing years, the issues of fertility, child birth, and child rearing are the places Satan seems to attack us most concerning the gospel.  We have wonderful single women who must stand by and watch their biological clock ticking.  They hear the satanic lie whispered daily in their ear-”you’re not anything until you have a child.  Your life is meaningless until you give birth.”  There are infertile couples and couples who have miscarried.  Satan lies to them, “You don’t deserve a baby.  You miscarried because you weren’t disciplined enough to carry a healthy baby to full term.”  Women with children hear, “a really godly mom would have succeeded at breast feeding.”  Or “you had to have that emergency c-section because you didn’t take care of yourself well during pregnancy.”  Christian moms (and would be moms) can be the worst at comparing themselves in an attempt to find their worth and identity in their children.  As a mom who had a c-section and a less than stellar record breast-feeding, I admit to feeling threatened at times by moms who succeed at drug-free births with breasts over-flowing with milk.  One friend who had her children at home shared that she no longer feels free to talk about those experiences with other moms because so many ladies seemed threatened by her story.   Why can’t Christian women share their stories or hear the story of others without feeling constant tension to compare themselves or find their value in how well they succeeded?   

What is it about the gospel that protects us from the shame and condemnation of such comparisons?  Like Paul, we acknowledge honestly the extent of our sin.  As Paul says, “I am the chief of sinners.”  Then we look at the cross and realize, “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).  Anyone who thinks they can earn God’s favor by breast feeding well (or whatever issue) or that they lose God’s favor if they don’t, needs to review the gospel.  They need to drink deeply of God’s grace to us and must constantly interpret the rest of life in light of that grace.  In light of the cross, we find our identity NOT in our talents or giftedness and not in how we compare to Jane Doe Christian.  Instead, we find our identity in Jesus-after all, before the creation of the world, God determined that you and I would reflect God’s image in Christ (Romans 8:29).  But note Christ’s warning in John 15:5 -

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

What is our identity in Jesus?  Well, He is the Head and we are His Body.  He is the Vine and we are His branches.  We are supernaturally connected to Him and desperately dependent on Him for any hope of fruitful ministry at church, home, or the workplace.  The Ideal Mars Hill Woman realizes that having begun her walk of faith through the Spirit, she is still utterly dependent upon God for any hope of future obedience.  She gets her nourishment for daily living from the Vine in light of the gospel and not from any false sense of personal ability–for apart from Him, she can do nothing. 

Resource Review 

“The Feminine Mystique” was a teaching by Pastor Mike Gunn several years ago at Mars Hill; I think when he was still a pastor here. Now he is a pastor at Harambee Church in Renton, but he is still very close to Mars Hill Church and I even sat a row behind him and his wife a few weekends ago at the big leadership training conference hosted at Ballard.

What is the teaching? It goes over Proverbs 31 as well as tougher verses on women’s roles, such as 1 Timothy 5:14. Some of you have heard Mars Hill’s teaching on this. Some of you haven’t. I hadn’t heard Pastor Mike’s ”version” until a few weeks ago, and immensely appreciated it. His style and delivery are different than our teachers here (ie, Pastor Mark, Deacon Wendy Alsup), and it’s great to hear the same biblical message from another voice. In particular, I like his bashing of the 1950’s ‘ideal woman.’ Because sometimes I get paranoid and start thinking that is who we are supposed to be as a woman…

“This issue of the ‘traditional home’ of Leave It to Beaver is not biblical. You gotta understand that - this is NOT what we’re aiming for, ‘let’s get back to the 50’s.’ No way. That was a mindless woman that was dressed in the nicest dresses of the day, just staying home and being neat with an extremely neat house. That nothing was out of place… some weird ideal that she got to play with some of the ‘cool things’ he was earning, like dishwashers and stuff like that, but she didn’t have any connection with reality. This is NOT what we’re talking about, and if you go back to Leave It to Beaver because I’m going through this, you’re truly mistaken with where I’m trying to go. I’m trying my best to aim towards what God says a woman ought to be, and I hope as a woman, so are you! And not just the construct of what culture tells you you should be or what you think you ought to be, but to become a woman who is godly.”

Personally, Mike has my tremendous respect for multiple reasons beyond being a founding pastor of Mars Hill Church.

First, he had my ear from the minute he started his lecture on “Understanding Islam” and suggested that it was neither a dangerous regime of terrorists nor a harmless, peaceful ‘other religion.’ Even after two years’ absence from my life in the Middle East living next door to my city’s Islamic religious police, I still felt sensitive about all the uninformed and typically polarized opinions of Muslims. Pastor Mike was the first person I’d heard speak on the way-too-broad category of “Islam” in a way that rang true with my experience.

Next, I got to talk with him in-person and he mentioned loving Lauryn Hill’s “MTV Unplugged” album. I almost fell over and died of happiness, because that is one of the most provocative and Christian albums I have ever heard. And it’s not been very popular at all. But her lyrics are genius.

Third, he came to Missions Fest last October and spoke quite passionately about missions to cities in the basement of a very suburban-set church. It’s too bad it seemed that the only people who didn’t glaze over or become visibly agitated trying to merge the concepts of “mission” and “city” were a small handful of us brouhahas from Mars Hill / Harambee.

Last, he talks the way my mind thinks: tangents and stories. I love it.

So, all this to say… listen to his teaching.

Do you think that crapping out of your mouth is the same thing as saying what’s on your mind? Is being blunt the same as being rude? Is being rude the same thing as immaturity? Should an immature girl be married at 20? Should an immature girl be a deacon’s wife?

I don’t know the correct answers to any of those questions, but I am all of the above. Blunt, rude, immature, 20, and a deacon’s wife. I wonder if the people that know me, just read that and nodded their heads in agreement…

I wish I could say that I don’t care what they all think about me - but I do. And to be honest, I spend more time worrying about what my friends, family and enemies think about me, than wondering what Jesus thinks about me. And then I cry, wondering why I’m so miserable.

I know that I desire a gentle spirit and a controlled tongue, but I don’t know if it’s because I want people to think that I’m a “good” person, or because the Bible says so.

Here’s what I know for sure right now:
1. God’s been VERY gracious to me.
2. My husband and his family helps me see Jesus more.
3. I want my parents to get back together.
4. I need to lose some weight.

…Is Honest About Her Sin.

If we want to paint a stereotype of the Ideal Mars Hill Woman, she would first simply be honest about the condition of her heart.  The Apostle Paul is such a great example of this in the many letters he wrote to the young, fledgling New Testament churches.  In I Timothy 1:12-15, he lays it out very clearly. 

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. .. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

Paul starts his letters under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit with an honest assessment of his sin.  And notice that, while he gives the humble general statement that he was the foremost of sinners, he also lists specific sins.  He doesn’t sugar coat it, and he doesn’t brush over it. 

In contrast, how many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure?  We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we don’t want anyone to know the depth of our issues.  And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it.  We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now.  And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others. 

Oh that we would be a church of humble women who are honest about our sin.  Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride.  We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others.  And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone.  We must become women who value confession.   I don’t know where the saying originated that  “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture. 

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.  The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16 NASV) 

Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession?  We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives.  But are we first willing to confess-to admit, to acknowledge as true-the ugliness in our lives? 

During a recent discussion with an elder concerning the women at Mars Hill who come forward for counsel, he said, “Those women who come forward represent those brave enough to get help. They are only a small sampling of the whole body of women at MHC. The issues counselors see are experienced among so many to varying degrees who just can’t bring themselves to the place of exposure. The shame they have experienced and shaming they expect is too much, so they say nothing and stay hidden.”

Does that sound familiar to you?  Do you fall in that group?  God forbid that we hide in the shadows like Eve after her sin lest we be exposed as something other than our warped view of the Ideal Mars Hill woman.  In our depravity, we think the Ideal Mars Hill woman has it all together.  Instead, we must understand the first step is to be honest about our mess.  If you’re ready to stop faking it and value confession and honesty, there are many avenues for you to travel.  Here are some places to start. 

Pastoral counseling and redemption groups (sexual addiction, drug addiction, abortion) can be reached at care@marshillchurch.org.

Help for sexual and physical abuse, emotional and abandonment issues can be reached at gracegroups@marshillchurch.org.

Mutual honesty and accountability among women often starts in community groups. For the most up-to-date information and helpful assistance on getting connected to a group, check out the Life on Mars blog.

Confession begins the process of repentance. For a good Biblical exploration of the journey from sin to joy via confession and repentance to God, check out Grace Driscoll’s lesson from the January 2007 Women’s Training Day.

Psalm 32
1Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
Selah

5I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Selah

I have had several women come recently to me concerned that they don’t match the stereotype of the Mars Hill woman.  That got me to think-what is that stereotype?  When I hear others discuss the “Mars Hill Woman”, I think I know what they are talking about.  I’m not going to describe her here, because I don’t want to hurt any woman who may fit that stereotype.  But I do want to shoot down the main myth I hear about the stereotypical Mars Hill woman. 

Myth
The godliest of Mars Hill women look great all the time, all have godly Boaz type husbands, and have the same convictions about childbirth, breastfeeding, education, dinner preparation, employment, and so forth. 

Truth
First of all, “godliest” is a bad label.  It implies we determine our godliness by comparing ourselves to others.  “She’s godlier than that other lady, so that makes her the godliest.”  Wrong!  Christ is our standard of perfection, and we all fall short of His glory.  The best analogy I’ve heard is that it is like someone stands on a sheet of paper and claims to be closer to the sun.  When we try to use the label “godliest”, we are equally absurd.

We have many godly, mature ladies at Mars Hill with great wisdom to offer their sisters in Christ.  The first quality of all of them is humility.  They realize their unworthiness and don’t hold their preferences on childbirth, breastfeeding, education, dinner prep, and so forth as anything for which to pat themselves on the back.  In fact, among the mature, Christ-like women I know at Mars Hill, there are diverse opinions on each of these issues.  Also, we have many godly women who are not married and/or do not have children.  These women too are humble servants, hospitable with their resources and Christ-like in their priorities.

I have definitely felt pressure from godly Mars Hill women.  But rather than feeling peer pressure to conform to some outward stereotype, I have felt pressure to know God, spend time in His Word, to pray, to be humble, to love my husband and children, and to embrace my role in their lives.  While I have gleaned great practical information on breastfeeding, education, childbirth, dinner prep, etc from these ladies, I haven’t felt pressure to conform to their image.  No-they point me to conform to Christ’s image (Romans 8:29).  In that light, I can receive their practical feedback on different topics, compare it to other research I’ve done, pray about it with my husband, and reach my own personal convictions from the Word based on how the Spirit is leading my family as He conforms us to the image of God. 

In light of all this, what are the true characteristics of the Ideal Mars Hill Woman? We’ll explore these in 3 weekly installments here on the Reforming the Feminine blog, starting Wednesday.

Reforming the Feminine. You’re invited to join a handful of Mars Hill women as they exchange their ashes for beauty, fear for strength, mourning for gladness, filth for purity. This is where all that stuff we hear in church and read from our Bibles and know about Jesus in our heads… finds its way into the moments when we’re stuck in traffic, annoyed at work, can’t find our kids at the park, and we feel unloveable and stupid. This is the battlefield of the old woman vs. the new woman. Who will win? It could be ugly. It could be hilarious. It will definitely be humbling… but:

“He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.” (Phil. 1:6)

And who are these women writing? They’ll do a better job introducing themselves soon, but let me give you the brief…

Candice recently joined Mars Hill Church through the Doxa West Seattle church changeover, is also recently married, and recently re-discovered her faith. She regularly attends the Ballard campus and ministers with the worship department.

Wendy Alsup is a deacon at Mars Hill Church who has attended for several years and manages much of Women’s Ministry and teaches women’s Capstone classes and at women’s events. She regularly attends the West Seattle campus with her husband and two sons.

Hannah is a new member and a recent graduate of Whitworth with a degree in Communications. She enjoys academic and social research and is a great writer and thinker. She regularly attends the Ballard campus.

Cambria is a member of Mars Hill Church regularly attending the Ballard campus. She is currently an instructor of fashion design at two post-secondary schools in Seattle and operates her own business providing personal assistant services to clients whose business ranges from real estate to fashion styling. 

Laurel is a Washington State native, though only more recently from Seattle. She was raised as a homeschooler, and never met Jesus until a few years ago. She is the only Christian in her family currently, and she possesses a fresh perspective on Christianity that a lot of us “church kids” lack. Laurel regularly attends the Ballard campus.

And I’m Adriel Ifland, this blog’s administrator. I’ve been attending Mars Hill Church for 2 years and am a Seattle native. I work at a missions organization, but am often spending spare time at Mars Hill, helping with the Breakfast Club, sound, or anywhere else that needs help. I recently became a deacon and regularly attend the Ballard campus.

Who’s up first? Look for something from Deacon Wendy Alsup tomorrow…

By Deacon Judy Abolafya

For I confess my iniquity; I am full of anxiety because of my sin.
~Psalm 38:18

For many women, this Scripture speaks loudly. As you come to church each
week, some of your sisters sitting around you (or even you, perhaps?) are
full of anxiety because they are afraid that one day their sin will be
revealed. It’s a sin that causes anxiety because of the guilt and shame
associated with it. It’s a sin that causes anxiety because of the strain
it places on relationships. It’s a sin that causes anxiety because there’s
nothing a woman can do to make up for it or erase it. It’s the sin of
abortion.

The good news is: we have a Savior who has atoned for this sin. We have a
Savior who longs to heal us, to have us sit at His feet, forgiven, as His
blood washes over us to cleanse us from something we perceive to be too
horrible to forgive.

There is a ministry at Mars Hill that provides biblical counseling to
post-abortive women. The leaders have all experienced abortion themselves
and have received healing through this study. We lovingly walk women
through many steps; from acknowledging the truth of this sin in God’s eyes
to how to receive the forgiveness, mercy and grace that our Lord extends
to those who draw near to Him. To get more information or to sign up for
next quarter’s group, please send your confidential email to
care@marshillchurch.org.

If Mars Hill is not your home church, but you would like to be ministered
to through this Bible study, you can visit www.healinghearts.org to find a
group in your area.  Healing Hearts provides this discipleship throughout
America and beyond, and also offers a private online study option.

To listen to an interview about abortion that I did on the Thor Tolo show,
click here. [This link will also be placed in the Teaching Links page]