Mindy was asked, “What is God teaching you as you train your children at home? What are the joys or frustrations?” Here’s her answer.

I have had the privilege of having a friend of mine love on my babes once a week for me to 1) get a break, 2) run errands with no kids and 3) get a break.  After week two of this schedule, I had to just tell her what an incredible help and blessing this was to me.

The conversation went something like this: I said, “This has been so good for me to get a break and run errands, I cannot thank you enough on how this blesses me.”  

She said, “Oh I am so thankful that it is working out, I enjoy it so much and it is a great time of worship for me.”  I started to laugh, but quickly realized she was serious.  

When she left and I had a moment to think of what craziness she was just talking, I could not help but ask the question: “she was with my kids for 5 hours this morning and she was worshiping?”  

That same day while my wee ones were napping, I prayed.”I am encouraged by her, Jesus. I have never ever ever thought that being with my kids was worshipful, so please show me how that works exactly.”  Both kids woke up, and I was ready to worship!  

Apparently they weren’t.  One would not let me be anywhere but in the kitchen with him in my arms, while the other was pulling on my leg as she realized her pants were wet from a soggy pull up. One wanted to have a snack outside the other wanted a bath, they both wanted some crackers for a snack, we were out of crackers. Get the gist? I thought for a moment that maybe my worship as a parent was supposed to be when they were asleep. That afternoon continued in that same format and when my husband came home and asked how the day was, I responded “it was an afternoon of attempted worship.”  Then I fell to the couch in my typical laughing that turns to crying and then laughing more as tears kept coming down my face.

Fast Forward to a month later:

Some good friends went out of town for two days and we got to love on their twin 3 year old girls. So we had the twins, my 5 year old girl, and 3 year old boy AND our house-mate’s 2.5 year old daughter.  The kids out numbered the total of parents in the house, YIKES!  The twins came over about 7:30 a.m. and by 9:30 a.m., we had played dress up, eaten breakfast, done play-dough, ridden bikes outside and had done coloring.  AND IT WAS ONLY 9:30 AM! “What is the rest of the day going to look like?”  We did exercises, made a a hop-scotch, climbed trees, drew with chalk, ate snacks, rode more bikes, played pretend coffee shop, read books, danced to silly songs, ate lunch and by 1:00 pm the house was still and quiet with them all napping.  

Now, all that play sounds fun and delightful but there were numerous time-outs with noses against the wall. “Please don’t throw the plastic high heel at your sister!” “That is not loving to steal food when someone turns to look the other way.” “That is the second time I have asked you not to run over your brother with a bike, you are not obeying my words.” “Look me in the eyes and tell me you are sorry for throwing the bucket at my head.”  

But at nap time when all was still I thought, “I think I just did it. I think I just was worshiping while parenting!! Lord, could this be what it is like?”  It was an incredible feeling.  My mind slowly recognized a few things.  I was loving 5 kids today. There was a lot of action here today, and still more to come … AND it was delightful.  I had nothing else on my plate today — in other words, I never checked my email or called anyone, which is not a typical day for me.  Kids had fun, I had fun, they were loved, I felt loved … and I do believe Jesus was glorified and I was worshiping! I cried and then it turned into a laugh thinking of how long I have longed to be so full of love for kids and worshipful to Jesus. I cried harder and laughed harder, too.

 Romans 12:1 — “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

So the questions I am left with as I sit today with my two kids on the couch, laptop in my lap and phone on my hip are these:

What am I requiring of myself and where is that not lining up with what God is requiring of me?  

What part of my “typical” day ends up being my god that I worship? (my phone, my email, my friends)  

My husband said to me once, “All I ask of you is to read your Bible and love our kids.”  How can that play out practically?  What can that look like?  

How can I practice the presence of God in every inch of my day?  

And how do you do it? 

Dear RTF reader,

September was a good month. I know it was. I wanted to bring you an uplifting report from newlywed land combined with some epic story of fighting against all odds to triumph victoriously at the foot of the cross, like I’m sure other married couples have relayed. Still wrestling with tangled balls of thought and snippets of memory at 6:00 this morning, staring at a wall we never hung pictures on - blank white walls irritate both of us - I waited to remember that one time when we were amazing.

Thirty minutes into my wrestling, a mostly asleep husband reached around and pulled me closer to his chest. His breath was warm against the back of my neck and the weight of his arm resting on mine broke into my thoughts.

Why does it have to be epic (my new favorite word)?

Because it is more engaging, of course! Do you not remember Lord of the Rings?

What about honest, humble and possibly even a bit vulnerable?

But what if no one can relate to that!?! Hmmm…Um, never mind.

It’s true. These first several months of marriage, while full of transition, have not necessarily consisted of giant strides toward holiness, but something resembling tiny lessons in humility, and a continual stream of evidences of God’s grace - not unlike the ways Christ taught us in singleness. I am grateful to relay that Christ is still actively working in our lives and marriage, despite my delusions of greatness and odd conversations with myself.

September’s evidences of grace:

• Perry shares what he’s been learning from Harold Best’s “Unceasing Worship” and takes the following 30 minutes to discuss it with me when I don’t understand.

“Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude…” 1 Cor 13:4

• We fight heated, but on one occasion, resist bringing out past faults and are able to come to a resolution, though we still do not agree.

“In your anger, do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your heart and be silent.” Psalm 4:4

• He urges me to spend the afternoon with a hurting friend, rather than demanding my time and attention.

• He initiates a run in the morning before work one morning, because he knows it starts my day off well and we both desire to be healthy for ourselves and each other.

“My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.” Song of Solomon 5:10

• I leave my hair straightener on the bathroom sink for the sixth time in a row, and instead of getting frustrated, he gives me time to remember and put it away.

“…[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…” 1 Cor 13:4

• We change Mars Hill campuses and watch as Christ connects us to new ministry and new friendships.

• We recognize exhaustion in each other’s eyes after a long day at work, and instead of forcing the other to meet needs or be productive, we both extend grace and go to bed early. The laundry can wait. (this was yesterday)

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Eph 5:33

• He calls me out on selfishness, and gently leads me back to repentance.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Eph 5:25-28

Yes, September was a very good month.

Candice was asked, “What is the biggest gift Jesus has given you this year?” Here she answers that question.

I was standing around Circuit City yesterday while my husband was picking out a video camera for our new arrival. I started thinking of the biggest gift Jesus has given me this year. To no one’s surprise, the first thing that came to mind was this baby in my tummy. But the longer I thought about it, the longer the list got.

Although I didn’t go into too much detail in my last post about my sexual sins, I was in the process of repenting and studying with other women what the bible said about it. For so many years, I was a slave to different sexual sins. No body knew… and I actually liked it like that.

“If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:6-7

After 17 years of habitual sin, Jesus has changed my heart. My sexual desires have been purified and re-focused for my husband and our marriage bed. After two years of marriage, I experienced for the first time what sex was meant to be like: The perfect act of intimacy that I didn’t know was possible. The pure desire I can have for my husband that I didn’t know I was missing.

I could keep going and talk about all the behavioral things that have changed, but I won’t. All I want to boast about is Jesus. Jesus is the reason my sexual sins have stopped. Jesus is the reason I am not disgusted with myself anymore. Jesus was the one whose grace covers me, even when I’m not paying attention to it.

So what’s the biggest gift Jesus has given me this year? Here are the top 4 of 2008.
1. Freedom from sexual sin
2. Community to walk in the light with
3. The continual love, patience and leadership of my husband
4. The miracle of this child

Hallelujah! Thank you, Lord!

Today Liz Pak shares about her son Simon’s early birth.

 DAY 1
 
John 17: 1 When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come.”

The clothes have not been washed, the baby shower still two weeks away.  I pack the hospital bag and lay out my baby’s sheets still fresh from the dryer.  A bleary eyed friend arrives; I whisper good-bye to my still slumbering toddler and we dash to the hospital.
 
Father, you have chosen this day for my baby’s birth. Help me to trust in your perfect timing, for his life as well as mine.

DAY 3
 
John 17:1-2 Glorify the Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him

I am officially discharged from the hospital but my baby is not.  We stand and watch him batting at the blindfold over his eyes, his little hand bandaged to an IV, bright lights baking his jaundiced skin. I ache to nurse my baby and hold him close but the doctors and nurses say not yet.
 
Lord, bless these people watching over our child. Guide their hands and hearts; give them discernment to know what is best. Give me patience and strength to trust them and trust You with our little boy. Let me rest in your sovereignty

DAY 5
 
John 17:3 And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

My little man is not eating; the nurse lays the dreaded feeding tube next to his incubator. Will he ever come home? Someone drops by a meal; after community group and helping a friend move, we rush to put our daughter to bed before I have to be back at the hospital for the next feed.
 
Lord, thank you for Your strength. Thank you for people to help us and for enabling us to help other people. Thank you for our family in Christ, as we grow with them we grow also in You.

DAY 9
 
John 17:4-5 I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence, with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.

The wires and tubes have slowly gone away and now my baby sleeps in an open crib. We wait with impatient hearts as the doctor looks over the charts and writes the final discharge. I breathe a sigh of relief as our family walks through the exit; my baby breathes fresh air for the first time.
 
Lord, thank you for enabling us to do the work you set before us. Thank you for giving us joy and peace for 9 days when we could not look to anything but you. Thank you for bringing us home. Thank you for Simon Jude, born August 28th, 2008 

“Now we see but a poor reflection, as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

Today was Candice’s day to post, but I just got word she’s gone into labor (!) so y’all can pray for her delivery of baby Harley.

My sister-in-law is a week past-due and they’ll probably induce her this afternoon and make my little niece come out into the world. Grandma said, “poor thing, if I were her I wouldn’t want to face a Manitoba winter, either!”

On Saturday, my dear cousin got married. It was a huge family affair; I was the reception host, 3 of my sisters catered the entire thing and another sister was the photographer. There were relatives and friends everywhere from as far as Lebanon and London, and it was a very joyful time. Still, when I got my aunt to take me to where the bride was hiding before the wedding so I could give her one last hug, I was completely shocked that I suddenly burst into uncontrollable tears. Goodbye, maidenhood friend.

This Friday, I will attend a funeral for my dear friend Stephanie. She battled cancer the entire time I knew her. I used to give her massages to try to help her lymph nodes drain, and forced her to tell me stories of her childhood in Mt. Vernon in the 1940’s. Sent home with pain killers to just wait out the end, I watched as her body became more and more emaciated. I watched the tears of family and friends. I watched her own tears as she reconciled the fact she was going to die in the next few days since she couldn’t eat or drink any longer. We read John 14 together, and she told me that was what they read at her son’s funeral, and she couldn’t wait to see him.

Two gals I work with also had people close to them die in the last month. We have all had our tearful exchanges about how much we hate death. We are comforted to know that we don’t have to be at peace with death - that it is our enemy - and that Jesus truly has conquered it.

All this has me thinking a lot about life recently. How short it is, how quickly we come and go. That there really is only hope in Jesus to live now, and our only hope for after life is Him also. Jesus IS life.

It makes the little things - the little fights, the striving to have the best and the newest fill-in-the-blank, the pompousness and pride of so many things that are “meaningless! meaningless!” - it makes them look as petty as they are. And the things that get overlooked… like my little girl cousins begging me to dance with them at the wedding and tell them their dresses are pretty … suddenly become so very important.

I was emailing a friend this week, and I actually burst out laughing when I typed that.  It was like seeing truth in a new light, and I couldn’t help myself.  It caused me to reflect on all the healing that Jesus had effected in my life, because three little words can change your life.  Remember the most famous?  ”It is finished.”  (John 19:30).

In a twisted simile with the same connotation, 3 little words changed my life forever following a confrontation with my husband after exposing his extramarital affair.  A fairly new Christian, I remember sitting on my knees on the bed, thinking, ”I can’t believe how much worse life has gotten since I gave my life to Jesus!”  Minutes later, 3 little words from my beloved’s lips would haunt me for a very long time.  I will never forget the tone, the pitch, the pause, the delivery, the articulation. 

The answer.

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

(four second pause)

“No.  I don’t.”

Everything was slow motion, so it wasn’t like feeling an immediate, vicious puncture wound.  The incision through my heart was premeditated; a slow, deliberate slash.  Almost methodical.  But it was a dagger gash.  Messy.  Very messy for my children and I.  The words would wash in an out like the tide, for a long time.  

Fast forward.  Separation.  Divorce.  His new marriage would propel a journey of single parenting my then 2 and 3 year old for seven years.  My heart wound began a tumultuous cycle.   Scab, fester, heal, infect.  Scab, fester, heal, infect.  An occasional bust open.  Like the time my little boy asked the UPS man if he was his daddy.  That one took a long time to stitch up.

Fast forward.

Bliss!  My savior had arrived!  A terrific Christian man who wanted to marry me!  Reducing my previous marriage to worldly love, I knew this man would bring me closer to the ideallic Mary Poppins marriage I had dreamed of.  You know, practically perfect in every way.  We were both Christian, after all.

Fast forward. 

 A handful of Christian women studying The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace.  (A great book on wife-ing.)  We are studying the chapter on sex, and the leader naively passes me by (with my second trimester belly) by commenting, “Well, obviously you have no problems in this department!”  Do they notice that everyone is laughing but me?  No, they don’t.  Because, despite my Mary Poppins smile, I am working a familiar pattern.  Scab, fester, heal, infect.  Scab, fester, heal, infect…

* * *

In each of our lives, the drama of sin and suffering plays itself out.  It may be a secret struggle that is growing more difficult.  It may be a relationship that is increasingly conflicted.  The horrors of the past rear their ugly heads.

Honesty compels us to admit that we are people who need help, surrounded by people in the same situation.  There are things inside of us that simply don’t go away.  We do wrong things, feel regret, confess them, resolve not to repeat them, but, in the heat of the moment, go on to exactly what we promised ourselves we wouldn’t.

God has called us to be part of His kingdom work, but he hasn’t given us a phoney Mary Poppins polish, or a quick pamphlet, “5 Steps to the Perfect Relationship.”  He has told us to place our hope in the presence and work of Jesus the Redeemer.  We find we are utterly dependent on His power and wisdom for change in any of our relationships, because “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” (Is. 53:6).  It was completely encouraging when, during a time of complete humility and failure, Jesus reminded me that all mankind, all marriages, were in the same boat as me, really, and that no matter what any marriage looked like on the outside, no matter how much lacquer a couple may goop on, the truth remains we are all selfish, sinful wives married to selfish sinful husbands.  Their transparency was irrelevant on some level.  What I believed about Jesus and how I aligned my mind with Scripture would be the only important difference.

My husband and I have stumbled, tripped, lost many battles, and yet are winning the war.  Our marriage is tight and growing tighter, despite the fact that from time to time we blame each other for our own sins, as well as the past sins of others. 

The Christian life is a long obedience in the same direction.  The Bible is more than an encyclopedia of therapeutic insights, like,  ”Where can I find a verse on (fill in the blank)”.  Our only hope in any relationship rests on the Person, Jesus Christ, and His salvation plan to rescue us.  We are quicker to the cross as a couple, and more willing to be humiliated in front of one another.  I have watched my husband go from a deflated football, to the winningest QB in our home.  As a couple, we are hopeless and helpless as husband and wife, man and woman.  We need rescue from our own self-sufficiency and wisdom and a transport to a kingdom where Jesus is central and true hope is alive. 

I am haunted more often by the Bible and words of God, than the foolish words of man.  ”No.  I don’t“, holds absolutely no power anymore.  When Pastor Mark was teaching through Nehemiah, God reminded me to,   “Have a mind to work, Shelly, on your relationships.”  (Nehemiah 4:6).   Which incidentally is a great prayer.    

We feel as if we have a permanent trowel in one hand (building our home for Jesus fame), and a sword in the other (exalting and living and believing the Word).  (Nehemiah 4:17).  We’ve made dozens of marriage and parenting mistakes.  And still, we win the war.  A long obedience in the same direction, and knowing our community at Mars Hill Church is all doing the same, and no one has a Mary Poppins marriage.  

Pastor Mark’s new series on The Peasant Princess, in Song of Songs is sure to scratch a few scabs for all of us.  I know in the end it will encourage more growth, more humility, and deeper love in all of our relationships, because worldly love is our default under a Curse.

Thank you Jesus Christ, for picking off the scabs.  For saving me from myself, from hurting my husband, and for eternity.

Thank you Pastor Mark, for your undaunting love of Scripture, uncovering festers in our marriages. 

Thank You, Father God, for a design to heal us.

Use us, sweet Jesus through the Holy Spirt, to give us (as C.S. Lewis put it), the Good Infection to others around.

Thank you that I can laugh at the title of this post.  And be eternally thankful that it’s true.

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;

Save me and I will be saved,

For Thou art my praise.

Jeremiah 17:14

What does respecting your husband look like? Tami Hagglund answers this question personally.

Falling in love with my amazing husband, Jason, was easy. He loves Jesus and has loved me with unconditional love that I could not have dreamed up had I tried.  While dating we conversed incessantly about how our marriage would be, acknowledging that it would require a lot of hard work but believing ourselves too mature to argue about meaningless nonsense like “those” couples.

We recently celebrated our one year anniversary, and I can’t tell you how many times we have fought over stupid things like his driving or him falling asleep when we’re watching a TV show on the DVR (he always expects me to rewind!), not to mention the fact that I leave clothes everywhere - the kitchen, the bathroom, the couch… honestly, pretty much everywhere but the closet.  We’ve intentionally worked on communication and have grown in our ability to step away from such lameness quickly and forgive one another.

What is much harder is dealing with idols, of which I seem to have too many to count.  I’ve seen his heart break when I confess sins related to my battle with obesity. I’ve bitterly resented him when he bungled the finances and we were charged with an overdraft and my idol of financial security was threatened.  One scary evening I screamed – SCREAMED – at him when he suggested that to save money maybe we should consider (more…)

By Tera Miller

Before coming to know Jesus at the age of 27, I had my fare share of relationships with men of a different character than what I’m attracted to now as a Christian.  Just as God has been transforming my heart, He has been transforming how I consider men for potential relationship.  It’s not a science or a checklist by any means, but here are six ways in which God has changed my heart and opened my eyes.

First, as a non-believer my former goal for relationship with men was simply to date and have a good time. There was no intention of anything more than that, but perhaps if it did turn into a long committed relationship, it would be considered a bonus.  My thinking was short-term and narrow.  I didn’t question whether he would be a good husband, good father, or good leader.  I only needed to know if he was a good date or possibly a good boyfriend.  Now I value legacy and how a man would lead our family as well as whether I would be willing to follow him and submit to his mission for the rest of my life.

Second, I used physical and sexual attraction as my gage for desirability.  I felt desired by men when they pursued me physically, and in turn, I showed my attraction for men by advancing sexually.  Although physical attraction is still important and sexual intimacy will be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage, I now find great value in emotional and spiritual compatibility and feel most desired when a man pursues the hidden parts of my heart, fulfilling my deepest longing to be fully known and fully loved.

Before becoming a Christian, I didn’t know what sin was nor that I was indulging in it.  So looking back, I can see that the third consideration I used was whether someone would join me in my sin.  I wanted someone who would allow me to be selfish, hide in half truths, and manipulate the situation.  I was attracted to men who were slaves to their own sin so they couldn’t hold my sin against me.  Today I want a man who is both aware of and repulsed by his sinful heart, and is eager to confess and repent of his sin.  I also want a man who is loving and bold enough to call out my sin and to not be content with my unrepentant heart. 

Fourth, I used to think that it didn’t matter what other people thought of my relationship as long as he treated me well when we were alone together.  That meant that he could be a different person to my friends, disrespect me in public, and not be liked by my family.  Today I see community as a blessing and wise counsel.  To bring a relationship before the people that know me and love me is a way for me to receive guidance and assure that I am protected.  I want my future husband to be the same person to me as he is to my friends, my family, our community and complete strangers.  I want to be able to see his character in different situations and how he chooses to respond.  I also value the accountability from brothers and sisters who are looking out for my best interest and helping to make sure our relationship is glorifying to God.

The fifth variance in my view of men is the concept that I now want a man to make me holy, not simply happy.  There is nothing wrong with the emotion of happiness, however if that is my goal above all else, I will not be as willing to be transformed for God’s purpose because I will avoid anything that takes me away from happiness.  I believe God brings great joy even in the midst of intense pain and suffering.  And when I am seeking to be more like Jesus, I will be faced with many times of unhappiness for the sake of holiness.  I want a man who will choose our holiness even when it’s hard, may result in disappointment, or be anything but happy.

The sixth and final point actually encompasses all of the prior five.  It all comes down to worshipping myself as god.  I thought selfishly and narrowly, seeking immediate pleasure and did whatever I wanted at that moment.  I used to live for my plan but now I live for God’s plan.  Likewise, I want a man who is seeking God’s plan and will live it out in our relationship and in the rest of his life.

God has a plan that is far greater than I could ever imagine for myself.  And the question isn’t How does God fit into my plan?, it’s How do I fit into God’s plan?  I want a man who believes that and is after my heart because he is first after God’s own heart.

By Liz Pak. Liz originally wrote A Desperate Housewife Comes Clean, a post that generated a huge buzz. Since that time she posted once more, but we are proud to announce she will be a regular writer on the blog now. As soon as she recovers from birthing Baby 2, that is. Congratulations, Liz!!

I was not raised in a Christian home. My childhood was marked with lots of yelling and fighting and scary moments. I had such an unnatural fear of my parents that when I became a first-time mom over a decade later I swore I would never repeat the same sins to my own children.
 
I was so thankful for Jesus, but so prideful that He had saved me. I thought that once I had His righteousness I would not only be free from sin but free of sin.  I thought that being a new creation meant that I was a new sinless and perfect me. I would have perfect friends and a perfect house and a perfect husband in a perfect marriage. But most of all I would be a perfect mom. I would not make the same mistakes my mom made. I would not sin like her. I would be different because I had Jesus.
 
And then I kept having these moments. Moments when I am so mad at my child that I cannot discipline her because I might hurt her. Moments when I am angry and lonely and taking out my frustrations on my toddler because she is the only other person in the cold empty house.  Moments when I am screaming at her in the driveway and instead of being convicted of my sinful cruelty I am thinking “I hope no one is watching because then they will know how un-perfect I am”.  I had so many of these moments. I had them every week, sometimes two days in a row, sometimes several even within the same day.

My worst nightmare has come true: I have become my mother. I have inherited her sinful nature and I am hurting my daughter. History is repeating itself. God has entrusted her to me to care and provide for, to protect against evil doers. And yet here I am, the kind of evil person she needs protection from.
 
How does Jesus change my story? How is my journey different from my mother’s?
 
Another one of those moments. I am yelling at my daughter during her evening bath, chastising her when she is at her most vulnerable, wet and tired with soap in her eyes, sitting in a tub of water. She looks at me with tearful eyes. “Why mama?” she seems to say.
 
I take my daughter up in my arms and wrap her in a warm towel. We go sit in the special rocking chair in her room. She snuggles in against my hugely pregnant belly and I feel her brother wriggling inside me.
 
“I’m sorry Kayla.” I whisper. “Mama is sinning against you in her anger. I should not have yelled at you. You did nothing wrong. I should not have taken my frustration out on you. I ask forgiveness. Can you forgive me?”
 
She pulls her thumb out of her mouth long enough to mumble “Yes, Mama.”
 
“I love you.”
 
“Losh you.”
 
This is the sanctification that is only possible in Christ. It is the kind of forgiveness and reconciliation that I long for with my own mother. And while that is one relationship where I may never have closure, by God’s grace I can now experience it with my own daughter.
  
My story is different because it is not my story. It is God’s story and it belongs to Him because I belong to Him. He will redeem it for His glory and for my good and for my children’s good. I still have my sinful nature and it wars inside me against the Holy Spirit that dwells there too. I am not the perfect mom and I do not have my own righteousness to lean on. But I belong to a perfect God and He will take care of me, and of my family, just like he cares for all His children and works all things out for the good of those who love Him.